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Write about the following topic. Instead of training a few athletes to win medals at the Olympics, governments should spend the money on programmes encouraging the public to be active and stay healthy. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this state v.34

Instead of training a few athletes to win medals at the Olympics, governments should spend the money on programmes encouraging the public to be active and stay healthy. with this state v. 34
An athletic plays one of the best role in human life and it makes active and healthy body. A few people take a training and they win medals at the Olympics. Many may say, governments should provide fund for organising some motivational programmes for people to be active and healthy. To me, I agree with this phenomenon for many worthwhile reasons, as described in this essay. In the countryside, many people have sports talent, but they do not know about the Olympics because they have no technical gadgets for listening news. If government should give some fund for providing knowledge about the athletics, many people take a training and take a part in the international competitions. For example, Narendhra Modi, who is the recent prime minister of India, provided some fund for athletics, when he was the chief minister of Gujarat. He created one program (Khelmahakumbh) for encouraged to all students and athleters, as a result many students, who came from the countryside, took a part in the competition of games. Furthermore, medals and gifts are necessary to the winners. If government should organise programmes and give prices and medals to the winners, people motivate from winners. Sports improve our health and all people become healthy is a benefit of country as well as country' s people. On the other hand, government has organised some programmes but people do not take a part and ignores; therefore, money wasted from this program. In conclusion, in case government should not provide funds for encourage people, people do not interest to join the sports; therefore, I agree with the government should provide some money for encouraging people and reasons have discussed in this essay.
An athletic plays one of the best role in human life and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
active and healthy body. A few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
training and
they win medals at the Olympics.
Possible agreement error. The noun may seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much may", "a good deal of may".
Many may
say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
for
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
motivational
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be active and healthy. To me, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this phenomenon for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
worthwhile reasons, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
in this essay.

In the countryside,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have sports talent,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not know about the Olympics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have no technical gadgets for listening news. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
for providing knowledge about the athletics,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take a training and take a part in the international competitions.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Narendhra
Possible spelling mistake found.
Modi
, who is the recent prime minister of India, provided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
for athletics, when he was the chief minister of Gujarat. He created one program (
Possible spelling mistake found.
Khelmahakumbh
) for encouraged to all students and
Possible spelling mistake found.
athleters
,
as a result
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students, who came from the countryside, took a part in the competition of games.

Furthermore
, medals and gifts are necessary to the winners. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
and give prices and medals to the winners,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
motivate from winners. Sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our health and all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become healthy is a benefit of country
as well
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not take a part and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignores
;
therefore
, money wasted from this program.

In conclusion
, in case
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should not provide funds for encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not interest to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the sports;
therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money for encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and reasons have discussed in this essay.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay Instead of training a few athletes to win medals at the Olympics, governments should spend the money on programmes encouraging the public to be active and stay healthy. with this state v. 34

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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