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Nowadays culture is more or less same around the world due to globalization. Is it a positive trend or negative trend? v.2

Nowadays culture is more or less same around the world due to globalization. Is it a positive trend or negative trend? v. 2
It is true that the world is turned into a global village through an enormous development in the technology. Civilization of all around the world are going to be similar. Perhaps it can be argued that sometimes these comparable situation have some valuable or lousy side. Without accepting these change, ultimately world have nothing to do. The main and first detriment of these comparable situation is the cross cultural materialistic. Most of the time developing countries are rapidly flowing towards the rich cultural after seeing the developed countries. Some cultures should be prohibited based on the country. For example in western country keeping parents at old/safe home is a positive trend. But if we are talking about Bangladesh peoples are loved to be with their parents. But last few decades these old home trend are entered slowly in Bangladeshi culture. It decrease the humanity and relations among the persons and the children. The persons and the country should be more selective when they choose the foreign culture. Otherwise it will be a great social degradation in future. Meanwhile, the other side of the coin is that there are lots of positive things in cross cultural communication. The lifestyle, media, technology, eating habits and many more things are benefited through sharing the culture with one another. Through multimedia like TV/internet the new fashion trend are rapidly spread from one place to another. Eating habit is another most important issue that peoples are interested to take this trend. The variation of test, different food making process and country’s traditions are the main reason behind these. Technically so many peoples are getting job at different country as they need to lead their country. So it reduce the employment problem all over the world. So above the justification hereunto, it could be argued that, having similar culture all around the world is not such a bad things. It’s just all about the point of persons view whereas they choose positive ones or negative ones.
It is true that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is turned
into a global village through an enormous development in the technology. Civilization of all around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
are going to be similar. Perhaps it can
be argued
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
these comparable situation have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valuable or lousy side. Without accepting these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
,
ultimately
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
have nothing to do.

The main and
first
detriment of these comparable situation is the cross cultural materialistic. Most of the time developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
rapidly
flowing towards the rich cultural after seeing the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
should
be prohibited
based on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
in western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
keeping parents at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
/safe home is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if we are talking about Bangladesh peoples are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
to be with their parents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
last few decades these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
are entered
slowly
in Bangladeshi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. It
Did you mean "decreases"?
decrease
the humanity and relations among the persons and the children. The persons and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should be more selective when they choose the foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Otherwise
it will be a great social degradation
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

Meanwhile, the other side of the coin is that there are lots of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
things in cross cultural communication. The lifestyle, media, technology, eating habits and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more things
are benefited
through sharing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
with one another. Through multimedia like TV/internet the new fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
are
rapidly
spread from one place to another. Eating habit is another most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issue that peoples
are interested
to take this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
. The variation of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
food making process and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
traditions are the main reason behind these.
Technically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
peoples are getting job at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as they need to lead their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it
Did you mean "reduces"?
reduce
the employment problem all over the world.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
above the justification hereunto, it could
be argued
that, having similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
all around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is not such a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "thing"?
things
. It’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
all about the point of persons view whereas they choose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays culture is more or less same around the world due to globalization. Is it a positive trend or negative trend? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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