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Write a paragraph about a genius (about 150 words) v.1

Write a paragraph about a genius (about 150 words) v. 1
It is true that nowadays there are more and more geniuses in many fields, but long time ago, there was a world famous genius with many inventions that contributed greatly to man. Up to 1907 invented, no one else that is Edison Firstly, as a child, his health was extremely weak. Unfortunately, he later developed an ear infection, which led to deafness. However, for the strong will of the spirit of eagerness to learn, explore and discover he surpassed his fate. Secondly, about the learning process and the creative, but hard-working birth of his inventions. From a kid who was expelled for "dullness", Thomas Edison has become a genius of the century thanks to his mother teaching and his passion for discovery. He had gone through many experiments on board and was later discovered and kicked out or had to sell newspapers to earn money for experiments. Some of the world famous inventions include the recorder, motion camera and electric light. According to Wikipedia, his inventions number up to 1907 inventions. Therefore, he was dubbed the "Wizard of Menlo Park". He is also considered the second person who brought the sun to mankind when inventing the electric light. Therefore, he was awarded many awards such as the Copley Medal, the Grammy - Trustees, the US Congressional Gold Medal, . . . However, later, unfortunately, diabetes robbed genius. Our death in 1931 has left many regrets for mankind. To sum up, Edison is a genius hard to pass. His efforts have contributed a lot to people. Hopefully, there will be more genius in physics like Edison to make life more and more developed.
It is true that nowadays there are more and more geniuses in
many
fields,
but
long time ago, there was a world
famous
genius
with
many
inventions that contributed
greatly
to
man
. Up to 1907 invented, no one else
that is
Edison


Firstly
, as a child, his health was
extremely
weak. Unfortunately, he later developed an ear infection, which led to deafness.
However
, for the strong will of the spirit of eagerness to learn, explore and discover he surpassed his fate.
Secondly
, about the learning process and the creative,
but
hard
-working birth of his inventions. From a kid who
was expelled
for
"
dullness
"
, Thomas Edison has become a
genius
of the century thanks to his mother teaching and his passion for discovery. He had gone through
many
experiments on board and was later discovered and kicked out or had to sell newspapers to earn money for experiments.
Some of the
world
famous
inventions include the recorder, motion camera and electric light. According to Wikipedia, his inventions number up to 1907 inventions.
Therefore
, he
was dubbed
the
"
Wizard of
Menlo
Park
"
. He is
also
considered the second person who brought the sun to mankind when inventing the electric light.
Therefore
, he
was awarded
many
awards such as the Copley Medal, the Grammy
-
Trustees, the US Congressional Gold Medal
, .
.
.
However
, later, unfortunately, diabetes robbed
genius
. Our death in 1931 has
left
many
regrets for mankind.

To sum up, Edison is a
genius
hard
to pass. His efforts have contributed a lot to
people
.
Hopefully
, there will be more
genius
in physics like Edison to
make
life more and more developed.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay Write a paragraph about a genius (about 150 words) v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
272 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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