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write a descriptive paragraph about My favourite place in my hometown v.1

write a descriptive paragraph about My favourite place in my hometown v. 1
My favourite place in my hometown is al-Masjid al-Haram in Makkah also called " Holy Mosque". It considered the biggest mosque in the world that is why it can accommodate millions of worshippers. The holy mosque has one of the best Islamic architecture. The floor of the holy mosque is different in its quality, it has a special material that makes it cold, even if it has been hit by the sun, which makes it perfect for the people to walk barefoot on it. The Pillars are designed to divide the mosque into several areas. When the Muslims look up they are going to impress by domes and luxuries rocks and marble. Big chandeliers are hanging down from the high roof that is made of copper. The holy mosque has its vintage fan what makes it fit for cold weather and for those people who can’t tolerate the central air condition such as old age and babies. The lights in the holy mosque are mixed between white and yellow. Also, it considers as a mark for the central air condition and the fan area. The holy mosque is the most important place for each Muslims from different countries. Because it has the Kaaba which is a squared building shaped and covered with dark black clothing called Qiswa written on it a Quranic verse brocaded with gold threads, also the door is made of pure gold. The holy mosque provides holy water "Zamzam" for free for everybody. In conclusion, the holy mosque is my favourite place as a Muslim to worship in it. Being there makes me feel purified and calm. That's why it is the perfect place where all Muslims come every year from all over the world to visit it.
My
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
in my hometown is
Possible spelling mistake found.
al-Masjid
Possible spelling mistake found.
al-Haram
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Makkah
also
called
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Holy
Mosque
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. It considered the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mosque
in the world
that is
why it can accommodate millions of
Possible spelling mistake. 'worshippers' is British English.
worshippers
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mosque
has one of the best Islamic architecture. The floor of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mosque
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in its quality, it has a special material that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
, even if it has
been hit
by the sun, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
it perfect for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to walk barefoot on it.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
Pillars
are designed
to divide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mosque
into several areas. When the Muslims look up they are going to impress by domes and luxuries rocks and marble.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Big
chandeliers are hanging down from the high roof that
is made
of copper. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mosque
has its vintage fan what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
it fit for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
weather and for those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who can’t tolerate the central air condition such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age and babies. The lights in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mosque
are mixed
between white and yellow.
Also
, it considers as a mark for the central air condition and the fan area. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mosque
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for each Muslims from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it has the Kaaba which is a squared building shaped and covered with dark black clothing called
Possible spelling mistake found.
Qiswa
written on it a
Possible spelling mistake found.
Quranic
verse brocaded with gold threads,
also
the door
is made
of pure gold. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mosque
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holy
water
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zamzam
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
for free for everybody.
In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mosque
is my
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
as a Muslim to worship in it. Being there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
me feel purified and calm. That's why it is the perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where all Muslims
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
every year from all over the world to visit it.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes

IELTS essay write a descriptive paragraph about My favourite place in my hometown v. 1

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
291 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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