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Write a letter to your friend who recently moved to another country. In your letter you should say why you are writing. You should discuss when you want to see your friend. You should discuss how you plan to meet your friend again. v.1

Write a letter to your friend who recently moved to another country. In your letter you should say why you are writing. You should discuss when you want to see your friend. You should discuss how you plan to meet your friend again. v. 1
In a modern society, environmental care has become the centre of global debates. Some people think that only government is responsible for protecting the atmosphere, while others opine that every human being must be liable for it. In my belief, the former assertion proves to be more reliable. On the one hand, government plays an important role in taking care of the atmosphere. Particularly, the largest amount of pollution is normally created by big enterprises and factories and only governments have the power or ability to restrict or force them to control pollutions in a reasonable measurement. To illustrate, there should be some laws encouraging factories to move to the countryside rather than staying in cities. This could help urban areas to be further protected from the poisonous fumes, which factories frequently discharge into the atmosphere. On the other hand, it is undoubtedly true that the individuals' impact on the environments should not be neglected because our behaviours seriously impact on surrounding. For instance, a huge number of households in rural areas have to use unprocessed water from lakes and seas. These sources are, however, severely polluted because of the increasing amount of waste caused by people. This, in turn, negatively affects the health of themselves and other people. Therefore, by understanding the importance of behaviours, people would be able to protect the environment. In conclusion, from my personal point of view, it is the government duty to improve or protect our living environment. Hence, in order to protect the environment, governments should introduce tough regulations on factories with a limit on waste allowance also train more people working for public services to collect trash and build more centres to process trash from households.
In a modern society, environmental care has become the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of global debates.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is responsible for protecting the atmosphere, while others opine that every human being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be liable for it. In my belief, the former assertion proves to be more reliable.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in taking care of the atmosphere.
Particularly
, the largest amount of pollution is
normally
created by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
enterprises and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have the power or ability to restrict or force them to control pollutions in a reasonable measurement. To illustrate, there should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
laws encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the countryside
rather
than staying in cities. This could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
urban areas to be
further
protected from the poisonous fumes, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
frequently
discharge into the atmosphere.

On the other hand
, it is
undoubtedly
true that the individuals' impact on the environments should not
be neglected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
our
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
seriously
impact on surrounding.
For instance
, a huge number of households in rural areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
unprocessed water from lakes and seas. These sources are,
however
,
severely
polluted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the increasing amount of waste caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This, in turn,
negatively
affects the health of themselves and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
, by understanding the importance of
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would be able to protect the environment.

In conclusion
, from my personal point of view, it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
duty to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
or protect our living environment.
Hence
, in order to protect the environment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should introduce tough regulations on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
with a limit on waste allowance
also
train more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working for public services to collect trash and build more
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
to process trash from households.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Write a letter to your friend who recently moved to another country. In your letter you should say why you are writing. You should discuss when you want to see your friend. You should discuss how you plan to meet your friend again. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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