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You would like to participate in a training course. write a letter to your manager about the course and ask for permission. In your letter, Give details of the coursewhy is it useful for you? How will it benefit your work? v.1

You would like to participate in a training course. write a letter to your manager about the course and ask for permission. In your letter, Give details of the coursewhy is it useful for you? How will it benefit your work? v. 1
Some museums have an admission charge while some do not. In my opinion, the drawbacks of an entrance amount are eclipsed by its benefits in the sense that the income will be ploughed back into operation and development of the museums. A major disadvantage of an entry fee is the possibility of reducing the number of visitors. Museums house exhibitions and artefacts of great educational and historical value. If the chief aim of a museum is to introduce the local community, entry should be free to the public and visitors. Take some folk museums in Hong Kong, which preserve historic relics and display folk customs, for example. Access to these folk museums, which are often monuments, is free of cost. If they had charged an entry fee, many might have turned to other activities. Granted, an entrance price might have a negative effect on the admission figures, but an income is favourable to museums in terms of operation. Museums feature educational exhibitions at times, and this could not have been done without a sum of money expended on hiring professionals and buying equipment. The Hong Kong Space Museum, for instance, has monthly exhibitions on different issues and professional docents are employed to take visitors on a guided tour around the museum. This example speaks volumes about how a reasonable price is advantageous to the expense of a museum. In conclusion, the disadvantages of an access charge are overshadowed by the benefits accruing from a stable source of income. Therefore, having weighed up the pros and cons, I am convinced that museums should get an entrance fee for the sake of operation and development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
have an admission charge while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
do not. In my opinion, the drawbacks of an entrance amount
are eclipsed
by its benefits in the sense that the income will be
Possible spelling mistake. 'ploughed' is British English.
ploughed
back into operation and development of the museums.

A major disadvantage of an entry fee is the possibility of reducing the number of visitors.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
exhibitions and
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
of great educational and historical value. If the chief aim of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is to introduce the local community, entry should be free to the public and visitors. Take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
folk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
in Hong Kong, which preserve historic relics and display folk customs,
for example
. Access to these folk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
, which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
monuments, is free of cost. If they had charged an entry fee,
Possible agreement error. The noun might seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much might", "a good deal of might".
many might
have turned to other activities.

Granted, an entrance price might have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the admission figures,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
an income is
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
in terms of operation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
feature educational exhibitions at times, and this could not have
been done
without a sum of money expended on hiring professionals and buying equipment. The Hong Kong Space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
,
for instance
, has monthly exhibitions on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
issues and professional docents
are employed
to take visitors on a guided tour around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
. This example speaks volumes about how a reasonable price is advantageous to the expense of a museum.

In conclusion
, the disadvantages of an access charge
are overshadowed
by the benefits accruing from a stable source of income.
Therefore
, having weighed up the pros and cons, I
am convinced
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an entrance fee for the sake of operation and development
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay You would like to participate in a training course. write a letter to your manager about the course and ask for permission. In your letter, Give details of the coursewhy is it useful for you? How will it benefit your work? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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