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Write a letter to a book store manager who is living in another city. Ask him/her to make available a book that you are interested in. In your letter, you should tell: – What book you are looking for? – Why you need this book? – How you plan to purchas v.1

Write a letter to a book store manager who is living in another city. Ask him/her to make available a book that you are interested in. In your letter, you should tell: – What book you are looking for? – Why you need this book? – How you plan to purchas v. 1
There is no doubt that the gap between wealthy and poor's earnings is significant. While some people feel that this gap should be reduced in order to provide societies with the happier life, others do not believe that this would help. This essay will discuss why an income should be distributed more evenly and provide evidence for this. To begin with, some might argue, that money cannot make an individual any happier and his happiness absolutely relies on an individual himself rather his material condition. This is because, the argument goes, there are the internal factors for one's wellbeing such as a passion for life and the ability to accept the current situation. For instance, even the wealthiest of this world might suffer from the deep depression despite their prosperity. Therefore, it is claimed that it is by no means the best remedy for societal wellbeing. Conversely, this practice should work due to the number of reasons, not least among them are basic life needs. An individual is less likely to be delightful, if he has to struggle to provide himself with a home, groceries or an education and does not have a stable disposable income to entertain himself. To illustrate, recent studies have shown that there is a higher rate of unhappiness among less wealthy than among those who have a high income. Thus, decreasing the difference between these two demographics should increase the overall wellbeing. To conclude, the big difference between rich and poor is evident, and, although, some people do not believe that reducing this would contribute to a happier society, in my opinion, it is the best way to do so, since more people will have the conditions for a better life. By doing this, we can ensure that the future societies will not live in poverty while the rich live to the fullest.
There is no doubt that the gap between wealthy and poor's earnings is significant. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that this gap should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
in order to provide societies with the happier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, others do not believe that this would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. This essay will discuss why an income should
be distributed
more
evenly
and provide evidence for this.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
might argue, that money cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an individual any happier and his happiness
absolutely
relies on an individual himself
rather
his material condition. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, the argument goes, there are the internal factors for one's
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
such as a passion for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and the ability to accept the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation.
For instance
, even the wealthiest of this world might suffer from the deep depression despite their prosperity.
Therefore
, it
is claimed
that it is by no means the best remedy for societal
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
.

Conversely
, this practice should work due to the number of reasons, not least among them are basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
needs. An individual is less likely to be delightful, if he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
struggle to provide himself with a home, groceries or an education and does not have a stable disposable income to entertain himself. To illustrate, recent studies have shown that there is a higher rate of unhappiness among less wealthy than among those who have a high income.
Thus
, decreasing the difference between these two demographics should increase the
overall
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
.

To conclude
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
difference between rich and poor is evident, and, although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not believe that reducing this would contribute to a happier society, in my opinion, it is the best way to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, since more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will have the conditions for a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. By doing this, we can ensure that the future societies will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in poverty while the rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
to the fullest.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Write a letter to a book store manager who is living in another city. Ask him/her to make available a book that you are interested in. In your letter, you should tell: – What book you are looking for? – Why you need this book? – How you plan to purchas v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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