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Today large shopping centers and supermarkets are more common than small local shops. Is this a negative or positive development? v.1

Today large shopping centers and supermarkets are more common than small local shops. Is this a negative or positive development? v. 1
There is no doubt that stories with pictures on TV and newspapers nowadays are widely used. Some people believe that pictures are better than words when tell stories, and I completely agree with this point of view. On the one hand, pictures are easy to read and understand by all age groups. Children and young teenagers can read pictures when they do not have enough vocabularies, and this is why many children’s books mainly use pictures to tell stories. Similarly, elder people who have troubles in reading can consume articles with pictures smoothly. Moreover, many studies show that the majority of people do not like to read anymore because of the busy lifestyle and the development of the Internet. This trend can be explained by the fact that more and more websites, social media posts and article are now using shorter content with more pictures to appeal consumers and explain details. Not to mention the use and sharing of video, which is basically a picture-based media, gets more and more popular all over the world. On the other hand, the pictures are definitely more effective to tell stories compared to words. It is simply because that the varieties of colours, shapes, fonts and styles makes the pictures less boring and more efficient. To illustrate that, heat map is widely used in the weather report. On the local region map, people user different colours to represent the temperature, rain, and wind so that readers can scan the whole pictures quickly, locate the area they are interested quickly, and get the information they need with further confusion. Compared to using all text, which will surely take longer time to read, using pictures can reduce people’s reading time without missing important details. In conclusion, I agree with the view that pictures are better at telling stories than words because of their accessibility and readability.
There is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
on TV and newspapers nowadays are
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
are better than words when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
, and I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point of view.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
are easy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
and understand by all age groups. Children and young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
when they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
vocabularies, and this is why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children’s books
mainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
.
Similarly
, elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have troubles in reading can consume articles with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
smoothly
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
Make sure that 'anymore' is used as an adverb, not as an adjective. Did you mean "any more"?
anymore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the busy lifestyle and the development of the Internet. This trend can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by the fact that more and more websites, social media posts and article are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
using shorter content with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
to appeal consumers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
. Not to mention the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and sharing of video, which is
basically
a picture-based media,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
more and more popular all over the world.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
are definitely more effective to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
compared to words. It is
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that the varieties of
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
, shapes, fonts and styles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
less boring and more efficient. To illustrate that, heat map is
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the weather report. On the local region map,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
user
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
to represent the temperature, rain, and wind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that readers can scan the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
quickly
, locate the area they
are interested
quickly
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the information they need with
further
confusion. Compared to using all text, which will
surely
take longer time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
reading time without missing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
are better at telling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
than words
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their accessibility and readability.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Today large shopping centers and supermarkets are more common than small local shops. Is this a negative or positive development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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