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Nowadays, more and more people are having consumer goods like refrigerators and washing machines. Does this development bring more advantages than disadvantages? v.1

Nowadays, more and more people are having consumer goods like refrigerators and washing machines. Does this development bring more advantages than disadvantages? v. 1
In these days, Most of people are becoming materialistic because of new functions in modern house such as refrigeration and indoor laundry and other appliances too. These effects have both positive and negative effects, but I personally believe that adverse effects of these technological devices on human and climate eclipsed their benefits. To begin with, one of the biggest advantages of using appliance is a considerable amount of time which they save for us. By this I mean, these machines make people able to do multitasking to complete the entire task one time which can be used for productive activities. For example, city people who are busy due to hectic work schedule are relying on the microwave for preparing the meals and dishwasher to do dishes to reduce work stress. On the other hand, the advent of these machines posse’s serious threats to human body. In other words, over reliance on equipments such as washing machine, has a reduced workout by cutting down physical movement and tends to lots of diseases such as obesity, blood pressure. For instance, one medical study pointed out that either we need to go a gym if we do not abandon machines or need to do household activities to stay healthy and fit. Moreover, habitat is also being affected due to surge in the number of electronics in every house. This is to say that, many people do not know the use of CRF has a fatal effect on the setting, as it triggers global warming. Statistics from credible sources also reveals that air conditional and central heaters are used in every corner of the world which is very harmful for ozone layer of the earth. In conclusion, it is true that a number of people who own electronics, household gadget has significantly in the past few years. In spite of all benefits, I personally believe that it has more drawbacks for our life, as these products could have a serious effect on our body and status as well.
In these days, Most of
people
are becoming materialistic
because
of new functions in modern
house
such as refrigeration and indoor laundry and other appliances too. These effects have both
positive
and
negative
effects,
but
I
personally
believe that adverse effects of these technological devices on human and climate eclipsed their benefits.

To
begin
with, one of the biggest advantages of using appliance is a considerable amount of time which they save for us. By this I mean, these
machines
make
people
able to do multitasking to complete the entire task one time which can be
used
for productive activities.
For example
, city
people
who are busy due to hectic work schedule are relying on the microwave for preparing the meals and dishwasher to do dishes to
reduce
work
stress
.

On the other hand
, the advent of these
machines
posse’s serious threats to human body.
In other words
, over reliance on equipments such as washing
machine
, has a
reduced
workout by cutting down physical movement and tends to lots of diseases such as obesity, blood pressure.
For instance
, one medical study pointed out that either we need to go a gym if we do not abandon
machines
or need to do household activities to stay healthy and fit.
Moreover
, habitat is
also
being
affected
due to surge in the number of electronics in every
house
. This is to say that,
many
people
do not know the
use
of CRF has a fatal
effect
on the setting, as it triggers global warming. Statistics from credible sources
also
reveals that air conditional and central heaters are
used
in every corner of the world which is
very
harmful for ozone layer of the earth.

In conclusion
, it is true that a number of
people
who
own
electronics, household gadget has
significantly
in the past few years.
In spite of
all benefits, I
personally
believe that it has more drawbacks for our life, as these products could have a serious
effect
on our body and status
as well
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, more and more people are having consumer goods like refrigerators and washing machines. Does this development bring more advantages than disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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