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Would you rather eat at home or dine out at a restaurant? Give specific reasons, details and examples to support your response. v.1

Would you rather eat at home or dine out at a restaurant? Give specific reasons, details and examples to support your response. v. 1
Career has become an important element of an individual's life. It is argued by many people, that work takes a prime space in their life, and without a successful career their life would have no meaning. I partially agree with this statement, and will justify the same in my essay. To begin with, being successful in your career always provides a great sense of achievement and satisfaction. The people in todays world have become very competitive and work really hard to achieve their goals. When a person outperforms at work he feels more satisfied and also develops a proud feeling, whereas when a person fails at his task he feels, that his life has no meaning left. Hence, work achievement becomes a parameter for him to make his life meaningful. On the contrary, being successful can also result from being successful in personal life. This means an individual should be happy and content in life, this is also a way which could add more meaning to his life. Just by having a great career cannot make him content in life, if he continues to struggle in his personal life. For example, a top software engineer who was very successful in his career, committed suicide as he had a very disturbed married life, as he was not able to deal with the failure of his personal life. To conclude, career is important and it does take a vital space in the life of most people who thrive towards being successful, as it would add more meaning to their life. However, I would say people are more successful when they have a great balance between their personal and work life, and are able to be content in both spheres of life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Career
has become an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
element of an individual's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
takes a prime space in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, and without a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
would have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meaning
. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement, and will justify the same in my essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
always provides a great sense of achievement and satisfaction. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
world have become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
competitive and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to achieve their goals. When a person outperforms at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
he feels more satisfied and
also
develops a proud feeling, whereas when a person fails at his task he feels, that his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meaning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
achievement becomes a parameter for him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
meaningful.

On the contrary
, being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
can
also
result from being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This means an individual should be happy and content in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, this is
also
a way which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meaning
to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
by having a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him content in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, if he continues to struggle in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, a top software engineer who was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
, committed suicide as he had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
disturbed married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, as he was not able to deal with the failure of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
life.

To conclude
,
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career
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and it does take a vital space in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who thrive towards being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
, as it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meaning
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
, I would say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
when they have a great balance between their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, and are able to be content in both spheres of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Would you rather eat at home or dine out at a restaurant? Give specific reasons, details and examples to support your response. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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