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Would you prefer to go on a long trip by car or by train? Explain with reasons and examples. v.1

Would you prefer to go on a long trip by car or by train? Explain with reasons and examples. v. 1
The fashions have been received considerable attention since the dawn of civilization. Some people believe that the main reason behind this phenomenon is the propensity among people to imitate each other. I agree with this view from two main reasons. Firstly, people are trying to wear clothes similar to others to be accepted in societies. Secondly, mimicking others is the easiest way to select outfits and other goods. Human beings are sociable creatures and need to communicate with others. The simplest way to be accepted by others is to become similar to them from the appearance. For this reason, individuals try to wear the same clothes and accessories which are worn by others. The recent survey which has been conducted by some scholars in Stanford University also shows that more than 30 percent of teenagers between 13-19 years old select their outfits based on what their friends wear and not based on what they actually like. Selecting outfits is a time-consuming procedure, especially these days because of the appearance of online stores and the huge diversity of products. Because we have to consider different factors such as color, quality, price, to name but a few. However, most people like to assign your time to more valuable activities rather than shopping. For this reason, people are seeking the easiest way to select their clothes which is following the trend. For instance, to save time, I always look at the best seller products on online stores to purchase what I need, which means that I indirectly imitate others to select my required goods. In conclusion, I agree that the propensity among people to imitate each other is the main reason behind the vogue of fashions. Because wearing similar clothes to others is the way to be accepted by other people, and it is the time-saving approach to select outfits.
The fashions have
been received
considerable attention since the dawn of civilization.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
behind this phenomenon is the propensity among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to imitate each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view from two main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are trying to wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
similar to others to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
in societies.
Secondly
, mimicking others is the easiest way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
select
outfits and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

Human beings are sociable creatures and need to communicate with others. The simplest way to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by others is to become similar to them from the appearance. For this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
, individuals try to wear the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
and accessories which
are worn
by others. The recent survey which has
been conducted
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scholars in Stanford University
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that more than 30 percent of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
between 13-19 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
select
their outfits based on what their friends wear and not based on what they actually like.

Selecting outfits is a time-consuming procedure,
especially
these days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the appearance of online stores and the huge diversity of products.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
consider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
factors such as color, quality, price, to name
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a few.
However
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to assign your time to more valuable activities
rather
than shopping. For this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are seeking the easiest way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
select
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
which is following the trend.
For instance
, to save time, I always look at the
This word is normally spelled as one.
best seller
products on online stores to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
what I need, which means that I
indirectly
imitate others to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
select
my required
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the propensity among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to imitate each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
is the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
behind the vogue of fashions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
wearing similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
to others is the way to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and it is the time-saving approach to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
select
outfits.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Would you prefer to go on a long trip by car or by train? Explain with reasons and examples. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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