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world become global village some think it has many benefits other suggest it has no benefit. discuss both points of view v.1

world become global village some think it has many benefits other suggest it has no benefit. 1
It is indeed a fact that globalization will bring a similar type of product all over the world is an argumentative topic in society. Some people believe that there are lots of disadvantages that can be occurred. However, other opines that there are more merits can be received and it is more helpful for the people living around the world. Nevertheless, according to understanding, becoming a part of the global village is fascinating and creating extra values for humanity due to various factors. Firstly, it is accepted that all the countries are getting together into one platform for sharing products and services. Because of this, the products which are manufactured in the European market can be purchased through the local marketplaces and it is readily available for sale. As an example, Toyota Cars made in Japan can buy from the local sales agents of Toyota without travelling to Japan. And also, this will lead to massive economic changes and open a new path for new industries to uplift their business. Secondly, this will create positive competition in the global market and motivate all the manufacture of new innovations. Parallel to this, all the suppliers are trying to reduce their prices and improve the quality of the products. Due to this, branded items like PUMA / NIKE can be purchased from local distributors without any hassle. According to the research done by the University of California, it is shown that all the benefits which can be gathered by selling similar product among all countries. Considering all the aspects above, it can be concluded that making accessible the same products all over the countries is providing massive benefits to the consumers. Also, this will be making their life easier and keep them happy all the time.
It is
indeed
a fact that globalization will bring a similar type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
all over the world is an argumentative topic in society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that there are lots of disadvantages that can
be occurred
.
However
, other opines that there are more merits can
be received
and it is more helpful for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living around the world.
Nevertheless
, according to understanding, becoming a part of the global village is fascinating and creating extra values for humanity due to various factors.

Firstly
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that all the countries are getting together into one platform for sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and services.
Because of this
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which
are manufactured
in the European market can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
through the local marketplaces and it is
readily
available for sale. As an example, Toyota Cars made in Japan can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
from the local sales agents of Toyota without travelling to Japan. And
also
, this will lead to massive economic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and open a new path for new industries to uplift their business.

Secondly
, this will create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
competition in the global market and motivate all the manufacture of new innovations. Parallel to this, all the suppliers are trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their prices and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Due to this, branded items like PUMA / NIKE can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
from local distributors without any hassle. According to the research done by the University of California, it
is shown
that all the benefits which can
be gathered
by selling similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
among all countries.

Considering all the aspects above, it can
be concluded
that making accessible the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
all over the countries is providing massive benefits to the consumers.
Also
, this will be making their life easier and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them happy all the time.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay world become global village some think it has many benefits other suggest it has no benefit. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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