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workers are most satisfied when they have many different types of tasks to do during the workday than when they do similar tasks all day long. v.2

workers are most satisfied when they have many different types of tasks to do during the workday than when they do similar tasks all day long. v. 2
Today in our society, workers have a lot of work to choose and do. but the kind of work is determined based on the employers. Some employers eigher assign various kinds of work for their employees to do or set similar tasks for their employees all day long. I believe that, the first choice which gives worker opportunities to do different types of work is an approperiate one on accounts of many reasons. To begin with, the more different tasks to do in the work environment, the more interesting worker. we all are humans. humans compered to machines are more innovative. therefore we can not expect humans to do all the day a same job like a machine. machines are programmed in order to do certain task in certain time but humans have the ability to think and work effectively. therefore I strongly believe that they should do different jobs. Secondly, if workers do various jobs, they can be able to do jobs that they like. workers who like their job are more interested to do their tasks. Hence they work effectively and will increase the profit of their employers. For example, suppose a worker who does not like his job. if all the day must do the work that he does not like he will be exhaust. Eventually, he will not do his task properly and then he will affect another workers. therefore work does not advance and the employer at the end does not gain profit. In conclusion, I think that giving different kind of jobs in a day instead of just one similar task to a worker, not only increase the workers' s interest to do his best, but also will increase the net profit of that company. therefore I suggest to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
in our society,
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workers
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
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work
to choose and do.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the kind of
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work
is determined
based on the
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employers
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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employers
Possible spelling mistake found.
eigher
assign various kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for their employees to do or set similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
for their employees all day long. I believe that, the
first
choice which gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
opportunities to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is an
Possible spelling mistake found.
approperiate
one on accounts of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
to do in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment, the more interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
all are
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humans
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
humans
Did you mean the verb "compared" or the noun "compèred" (master of ceremonies)?
compered
to machines are more innovative.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
therefore
we can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
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humans
to do all the day a same
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job
like a machine.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
machines
are programmed
in order to do certain
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task
in certain time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
have the ability to
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think
and
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work
effectively
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
therefore
I
strongly
believe that they should do
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different
jobs.

Secondly
, if
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workers
do various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, they can be able to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that they like.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
workers
who like their
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job
are more interested to do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
they
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work
effectively
and will increase the profit of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
.
For example
, suppose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not like his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
all the day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not like he will be exhaust.
Eventually
, he will not do his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
properly and
then he will affect another
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workers
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
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does
not advance and the
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employer
at the
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end
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does
not gain profit.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in a day
instead
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
increase the
Possible spelling mistake found.
workers&
#039; s interest to do his best,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
will increase the net profit of that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
therefore
I suggest
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
to
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
50Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Mistakes

IELTS essay workers are most satisfied when they have many different types of tasks to do during the workday than when they do similar tasks all day long. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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