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The best way for government to solve the problem of traffic congestion is providing free public transport in 24 hours per day, and seven days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

The best way for government to solve the problem of traffic congestion is providing free public transport in 24 hours per day, and seven days a week. v. 2
It is true that traffic congestion is becoming a controversial issue in many major cities. Although I agree that government can provide free public transport to address this problem, I do not consider that it is the best solution. On the one hand, there are many great advantages from serving transport system. By adopting this policy, governments, as well as many nations around the world saw a significant decline in the number of cars which used on the street. As a result, it is the beneficial way for society to reduce the risk of the accident which occurs frequently on the roads and cut down a large amount of emission gas which released into the atmosphere. Furthermore, using public transport allow commuters to save much money paying for gas, parking fees and taxes. For instance, if you use the private vehicle, you will have to pay taxes for fuels and maintenance service. By the restriction of wasting money, you can spend the amount of money on various personal purposes. On the other hand, the government should take into consideration about some disadvantages before applying a free public transport system. Firstly, traffic congestion only happens during rush hours due to a large number of commuters, so it would be a waste of money to supply free transport at night. In addition, there are important fields in the society which need investment such as building or upgrading transport infrastructure. For example, they should spend a large money to repair and broaden the road so drivers can easily go faster without worrying about any troubles. Secondly, people who commute by public transport may suffer the variety of dangers from criminals. As a consequence, the number of bus or train which increase rapidly at the same time can result in raising the crime rate. By illegal activities of offenders, residents can be threated to their property or their life. In conclusion, it seems to me that governments should serve appropriately free public transport as well as combine with other effective measures to tackle traffic congestion.
It is true that traffic congestion is becoming a controversial issue in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
major cities. Although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
to address this problem, I do not consider that it is the best solution.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
great advantages from serving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
system. By adopting this policy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
,
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations around the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a significant decline in the number of cars which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
on the street.
As a result
, it is the beneficial way for society to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of the accident which occurs
frequently
on the roads and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down a large amount of emission gas which released into the atmosphere.
Furthermore
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
commuters to save much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
paying for gas, parking fees and taxes.
For instance
, if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the private vehicle, you will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay taxes for fuels and maintenance service. By the restriction of wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, you can spend the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on various personal purposes.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take into consideration about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
applying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
system.
Firstly
, traffic congestion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
happens during rush hours due to
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
commuters,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it would be a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to supply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
at night.
In addition
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
fields in the society which need investment such as building or upgrading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
infrastructure.
For example
, they should spend a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to repair and broaden the road
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
drivers can
easily
go faster without worrying about any troubles.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who commute by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
may suffer the variety of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
from criminals. As a consequence, the number of bus or train which increase
rapidly
at the same time can result in raising the crime rate. By illegal activities of offenders, residents can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
threated
to their property or their life.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should serve
appropriately
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
as well
as combine with other effective measures to tackle traffic congestion.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay The best way for government to solve the problem of traffic congestion is providing free public transport in 24 hours per day, and seven days a week. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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