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Women are accepted as a second gender. And most people agree that it is because of women themselves. Do you agree with that idea? Write your opinions and personal experience on that issue. v.1

Women are accepted as a second gender. And most people agree that it is because of women themselves. Do you agree with that idea? Write your opinions and personal experience on that issue. v. 1
At present, air pollution level has been the highest at all times. While some believe that a global car-free day is the best way to control air pollution, I would argue that there are other efficient approaches to tackle this issue. On the one hand, fossil fuel consumption contributes a major share in polluting the global atmosphere. A significant part of the fuel is consumed by motor vehicles. Therefore, avoiding the use of these vehicles can reduce air pollutants such as NO2 and CO2. For example, last year in London, when the traffic was diverted away from the marathon for 12 hours, environmental scientists recorded a drastic drop in local air pollution levels by as much as 89%. This is proof that observing a car-free day globally can significantly lessen the air pollution around the world. On the other hand, I would argue that preventing automobile usage only for a day, does not make a difference to the overall situation as it is a temporary fix. However, shifting to vehicles that are powered by alternate energy sources will be an efficient as well as a permanent solution for air pollution issue. For instance, Tesla and other automobile manufacturers are producing electric and hybrid cars respectively. Although currently, these cars are not common in the majority of countries yet, in Europe, governments are encouraging the public to switch to electric vehicles by offering them tax credits and rebates. In conclusion, although events like car-free day around the world has the potential to diminish the pollution levels globally, switching to electric or hybrid cars is a more efficient and effective way to beat the global environmental pollution.
At present,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
level has been the highest at all times. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that a global car-free day is the best way to control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
, I would argue that there are other efficient approaches to tackle this issue.

On the one hand, fossil fuel consumption contributes a major share in polluting the global atmosphere. A significant part of the fuel
is consumed
by motor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
.
Therefore
, avoiding the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollutants such as NO2 and CO2.
For example
, last year in London, when the traffic
was diverted
away from the marathon for 12 hours, environmental scientists recorded a drastic drop in local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
levels by as much as 89%. This is proof that observing a car-free day globally can
significantly
lessen the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
around the world.

On the other hand
, I would argue that preventing automobile usage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for a day, does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a difference to the
overall
situation as it is a temporary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
.
However
, shifting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
that
are powered
by alternate energy sources will be an efficient
as well
as a permanent solution for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
issue.
For instance
, Tesla and other automobile manufacturers are producing electric and hybrid cars
respectively
. Although
currently
, these cars are not common in the majority of countries
yet
, in Europe,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are encouraging the public to switch to electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
by offering them tax credits and rebates.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
like car-free day around the world has the potential to diminish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
levels globally, switching to electric or hybrid cars is a more efficient and effective way to beat the global environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Women are accepted as a second gender. And most people agree that it is because of women themselves. Do you agree with that idea? Write your opinions and personal experience on that issue. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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