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Do you think it would be a good idea for schools to ask students their opinions about lessons? What would the advantages for school be if they asked students their opinions? Would there be any disadvantages in asking students' opinions? v.1

Do you think it would be a good idea for schools to ask students their opinions about lessons? What would the advantages for school be if they asked students their opinions? Would there be any disadvantages in asking students' opinions? v. 1
The employment rate of a country determines its actual economic development. It is believed that for a highly qualified student, getting employed is not a problem. However, nowadays there are many highly qualified graduates without a job. There could be more than one factor that leads to this problem and this essay will discuss them in brief. Firstly, the main reason for unemployment is the lack of skills. Even though the students are highly qualified, but if they lack the practical aspect, they will not get a job. For example, In India, there are many colleges which only focus on the theoretical aspect of a course. The students do well in theory, but they are not able to implement the same in real life scenarios. The education system should be improved and the government should make the study of the practical aspects of a course mandatory. Secondly, In India, due to the reservation system, many qualified candidate fail to get employment. The reservation system was introduced to help the poor living below the poverty line. It divides the people by their caste and provide advantages to lower caste people. For instance, the cut off marks for an examination, for a general category student is 100 whereas it is 40 for a student who belongs to a lower caste. According to me, employment should not be based on caste, it should be based on the person's capabilities instead. In conclusion, there are many factors due to which many highly qualified graduates are unable to find a job. The government should improve the education as well as the employment system so that those who deserve can be employed and live a happy life.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
rate of a country determines its actual economic development. It
is believed
that for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
highly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
, getting employed is not a problem.
However
, nowadays there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
highly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualified
graduates without a job. There could be more than one factor that leads to this problem and this essay will discuss them
in brief
.

Firstly
, the main reason for unemployment is the lack of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
highly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualified
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if they lack the practical aspect, they will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job.
For example
, In India, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
colleges which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focus on the theoretical aspect of a course. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do well in theory,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are not able to implement the same in real life scenarios. The education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the study of the practical aspects of a course mandatory.

Secondly
, In India, due to the reservation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualified
candidate fail to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
. The reservation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
was introduced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the poor living below the poverty line. It divides the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caste
and provide advantages to lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caste
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For instance
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
off marks for an examination, for a general category
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is 100 whereas it is 40 for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who belongs to a lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caste
.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
should not
be based
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caste
, it should
be based
on the person's capabilities
instead
.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors due to which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
highly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualified
graduates are unable to find a job. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the education
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that those who deserve can
be employed
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a happy life.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Do you think it would be a good idea for schools to ask students their opinions about lessons? What would the advantages for school be if they asked students their opinions? Would there be any disadvantages in asking students' opinions? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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