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Rich countries are getting richer while poor countries are getting poorer. What is the cause of this? What could be done to solve this problem? v.1

Rich countries are getting richer while poor countries are getting poorer. What is the cause of this? What could be done to solve this problem? v. 1
The gap between rich and poor countries is widening these days. Due to good governance and low levels of corruption in first world countries they are achieving high growth when compared to third world countries. However, poor countries can catch up with them by implementing strict laws and reforms. To begin with, rich countries have significantly higher growth rates because of zero tolerance towards corruption. They value talent and make sure that talented people have no dearth of opportunities in their country. This allows them to attract huge investments and thus create new employment opportunities. In addition, rich nations enforce laws which favour companies expand their presence. Companies pay taxes to these nations and help them grow financially. For these reasons, first world countries can maintain a very healthy growth rate. Poor countries need to follow similar growth models and focus on improving their economy. Firstly, they need to implement tax reforms so that multi-national companies do not face any hassles when expanding their base in these countries. Secondly, corruption by officials is very high in these countries and it has a direct impact on people’s lives. Often times, skilled people do not have enough opportunities in these nations and this forces them to migrate to other countries. Strict anti-corruption laws need to be implemented to ensure proper governance. In addition, the government should proactively create opportunities to prevent brain drain. To conclude, the economic disparity between countries is growing. In my opinion, high levels of corruption and poor governance are the main causes of poverty in poor countries. However, this can be overcome by implementing proper laws and regulations.
The gap between rich and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is widening these days. Due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
governance and low levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corruption
in
first
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
they are achieving high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
when compared to third world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can catch up with them by implementing strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
and reforms.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
significantly
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
rates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of zero tolerance towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corruption
. They value talent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that talented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have no dearth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to attract huge investments and
thus
create new employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
.
In addition
, rich nations enforce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
which
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
expand their presence.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
pay taxes to these nations and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them grow
financially
. For these reasons,
first
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can maintain a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
rate.

Poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
need to follow similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
models and focus on improving their economy.
Firstly
, they need to implement tax reforms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that multi-national
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
do not face any hassles when expanding their base in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corruption
by officials is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and it has a direct impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
times, skilled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
in these nations and this forces them to migrate to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Strict anti-corruption
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
need to
be implemented
to ensure proper governance.
In addition
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
proactively
create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
brain drain.

To conclude
, the economic disparity between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is growing. In my opinion, high levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corruption
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
governance are the main causes of poverty in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
However
, this can
be overcome
by implementing proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
and regulations.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Rich countries are getting richer while poor countries are getting poorer. What is the cause of this? What could be done to solve this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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