Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? v.10

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? v. 10
Having health issues is becoming a common problem for most of the workers as they spend a little or no time exercising either during the weekdays or weekends. This essay will discuss the main factor associated with this issue and it will also recommend a viable solution to address the problem. The main cause why the majority of working people are not getting enough amount of exercise seems to stem from the fact that they are spending longer hours at work. The heavy workload has forced them to sacrifice their personal time to work, leading them to live a sedentary lifestyle, which can be detrimental to their overall well-being as they are more prone to illness. This is exemplified by the growing number of workers in China, who often suffer from a chronic cardiovascular disease due to the lack of physical activities and poor diet. One of the possible remedies to tackle this issue is by involving the employers to implement a work-life balance culture in the company. It is understandable that many companies always aim for a higher revenue to continue their business; however, by neglecting the fundamental asset, namely the workforce, it may lead them to more serious consequences. Therefore, employers need to play an active role in motivating and ensuring that their staff are living a healthy lifestyle and exercising. This can be done, for example, by allocating some of their budget to sponsor gym membership for all of the staff so that they are motivated to do exercises. In conclusion, many of the working people face certain health problems as they spend lesser or no regular exercise. While the prime factor, such as working long hours, is obvious and hard to be avoided, this issue can be resolved if the employers contribute positively in providing some health-related allowance for the employees.
Having health
issues
is becoming a common problem for most of the workers as they spend a
little
or no time exercising either during the weekdays or weekends. This essay will discuss the main factor associated with this
issue
and it will
also
recommend a viable solution to address the problem.

The main cause why the majority of working
people
are not getting
enough
amount of exercise seems to stem from the fact that they are spending longer hours at work. The heavy workload has forced them to sacrifice their personal time to work, leading them to
live
a sedentary lifestyle, which can be detrimental to their
overall
well-being as they are more prone to illness. This
is exemplified
by the growing number of workers in China, who
often
suffer from a chronic cardiovascular disease due to the lack of physical activities and poor diet.

One of the possible remedies to tackle this
issue
is by involving the employers to implement a work-life balance culture in the
company
. It is understandable that
many
companies
always aim for a higher revenue to continue their business;
however
, by neglecting the fundamental asset,
namely
the workforce, it may lead them to more serious consequences.
Therefore
, employers need to play an active role in motivating and ensuring that their staff are living a healthy lifestyle and exercising. This can
be done
,
for example
, by allocating
some
of their budget to sponsor gym membership for
all of the
staff
so
that they
are motivated
to do exercises.

In conclusion
,
many
of the working
people
face certain health problems as they spend lesser or no regular exercise. While the prime factor, such as working long hours, is obvious and
hard
to
be avoided
, this
issue
can
be resolved
if the employers contribute
positively
in providing
some
health-related allowance for the employees.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts