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With the rise in popularity of the internet, newspapers will soon become a thing of the past. v.5

With the rise in popularity of the internet, newspapers will soon become a thing of the past. v. 5
The printed newspaper has dominated the last century but has already lost its appeal to a great extent. As the online newspaper is gaining popularity at a rapid speed, I personally believe that new generation will find it cumbersome to read the news in a traditional way and thus it would become a thing of the past. To begin with, technology has revolutionalised the way we want to read the news. Online news media has far more technological tools to present news to the viewers than the printed newspapers. Sophisticated technology allows us to comment, share and bookmark a news which traditional newspapers have no way to offer. On top of that, the internet is more eco-friendly than the newspapers. The less printed newspaper we use, the more trees we save. So, the government and other environmental agencies would promote the use of eco-friendly products and services and digital news portals will be more popular in upcoming years. Many European countries’ paper use rates for printed media show a significant decline and it is obvious that this trend will continue. Many people say that the reading printed newspaper is not only a habit but also a culture for many human beings. Perhaps it may be true to some degree, but we cannot deny that the new generation is on the path of swift changing cultures and habits, according to the social changes. They hold the view that the faster we accept the changes, the better it is and they mostly read the news on their electronic gizmos such as smartphones and similar devices. To conclude, despite printed newspapers' traditional value and a nostalgic appeal, the digital version would surely replace it in the future.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
has dominated the last century
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
has already lost its appeal to a great extent. As the online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
is gaining popularity at a rapid speed, I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generation will find it cumbersome to read the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
Consider replacing "in a traditional way" with the adverb for "traditional"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a traditional way
and
thus
it would become a thing of the past.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, technology has
Possible spelling mistake found.
revolutionalised
the way we want to read the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
media has far more technological tools to present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
to the viewers than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
. Sophisticated technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
us to comment, share and bookmark a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
which traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
have no way to offer.
On top of that
, the internet is more eco-friendly than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
. The less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, the more trees we save.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and other environmental agencies would promote the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of eco-friendly products and services and digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
portals will be more popular in upcoming years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
European countries’ paper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
rates for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a significant decline and it is obvious that this trend will continue.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that the reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a habit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a culture for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
human beings. Perhaps it may be true to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
degree,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we cannot deny that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generation is on the path of swift changing cultures and habits, according to the social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. They hold the view that the faster we accept the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
, the better it
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
is and
they
mostly
read the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on their electronic gizmos such as smartphones and similar devices.

To conclude
, despite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
newspapers' traditional value and a nostalgic appeal, the digital version would
surely
replace it in the future.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay With the rise in popularity of the internet, newspapers will soon become a thing of the past. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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