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With the rise in popularity of the internet, newspapers will soon become a thing of the past. v.2

With the rise in popularity of the internet, newspapers will soon become a thing of the past. v. 2
Advances in technology lead to the revolution in communication and media facilities. The Internet is everywhere and more people are relying on it as a source of news and information. I agree that with the widespread use of the internet, people will consider printed newspapers a thing of the past. This change might be slow but inevitable. The internet is available everywhere - in houses, workplaces, café, restaurants, universities and schools and people can access to any newspaper of the world with few finger taps. Moreover, many people believe that it is cheaper to follow news on the internet than to buy a newspaper every day. Besides, it is easier to access, comment and share a news online, all it needs is just a few clicks and a wide range of choices and varieties are yours. Also, not only words but interactive videos of online news sources make reading the news more exciting and sometimes entertaining. On the other hand, newspapers are still popular among many people as they find reading it more appealing. Senior citizens who are less familiar with the internet and new technologies mostly prefer it. Some parts of the world are yet to be connected to the internet and people there have no alternatives than to read a printed newspaper. However, with the rapid expansion of technology, the trend would be completely washed away by the digital technology. In conclusion, using the internet solely as a source of news and information has already become a trend in many parts of the world. Soon the world will find the printed newspaper a thing of the past, it is just a matter of time.
Advances in technology lead to the revolution in communication and media facilities. The Internet is everywhere and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are relying on it as a source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and information. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that with the widespread
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will consider printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
a thing of the past.

This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
might be slow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
inevitable. The internet is available everywhere
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, workplaces, café, restaurants, universities and schools and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can access to any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
with few finger taps.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is cheaper to follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on the internet than to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
every day.
Besides
, it is easier to access, comment and share a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
online, all it needs is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few clicks and a wide range of choices and varieties are yours.
Also
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
words
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
interactive videos of online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
sources
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
reading the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
more exciting and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
entertaining.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
are
still
popular among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as they find reading it more appealing. Senior citizens who are less familiar with the internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technologies
mostly
prefer it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
are
yet
to
be connected
to the internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
there have no alternatives than to read a printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
.
However
, with the rapid expansion of technology, the trend would be completely washed away by the digital technology.

In conclusion
, using the internet
solely
as a source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and information has already become a trend in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Soon
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
will find the printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
a thing of the past, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a matter of time.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay With the rise in popularity of the internet, newspapers will soon become a thing of the past. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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