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With the rise in popularity of the internet, newspapers will soon become a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

With the rise in popularity of the internet, newspapers will soon become a thing of the past. v. 1
It is believed by some individuals that with the increase of the modern devices and internet, newspapers will soon disappear and become only a thing related to the past time. I completetly agree with this statement and the reasons of it will be explained before providing a conclusion. To begin with, it is undeniable that the development of cutting-edge technology changes people’s lifestyle and make a lot of things easier for them. By the help of internet people can get a great range of information easily and to my mind, acquiring information from internet rather than newspapers is more effective, comfortable and beneficial method. The first reason is that if someone read something from newspaper, it can be limited. I mean that in this case this person may accumulate information to some extend, but not widely. In contrast using internet in order to read news gives people a chance to read all newspapers from different parts of the world at the same time. Thus, i am convinced that people will prefer to use Internet as the source of information rather than newspapers. Additionally, it can be said that reading newspaper in everywhere is difficult, but Internet can be used in different devices such as mobile phones, laptops. netbooks and they are easyly portable, especially phones. At the same time, conventional newspapers are mede from trees and when people stop using traditional newspapers they can also prevent deforestation to some extend and i am of the opinion that people will chose this way. that is because they are in the search of more alternative ways for making their life better and keep our environment. In conclusion, it seems to me that in future we will remember traditional paper newspapers only the memory of past and İnternet will replace the newspapers as a reliable, wide and comfortable information source for these mentioned reasons.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals that with the increase of the modern devices and internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
disappear and become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a thing related to the
Did you mean "pastime"?
past time
. I
Possible spelling mistake found.
completetly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and the reasons of it will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
providing a conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is undeniable that the development of cutting-edge technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
lifestyle and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things easier for them. By the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a great range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
easily
and to my mind, acquiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from internet
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
is more effective, comfortable and beneficial method. The
first
reason is that if someone read something from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
, it can
be limited
. I mean that
in this case
this person may accumulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean the noun "extent"?
extend
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
widely
. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
contrast
using internet in order to read news gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a chance to read all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world at the same time.
Thus
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am convinced
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Internet as the source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
rather
than newspapers.

Additionally
, it can
be said
that reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
in everywhere is difficult,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Internet can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
devices such as mobile phones, laptops.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
netbooks
and they are
Possible spelling mistake found.
easyly
portable,
especially
phones. At the same time, conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
mede
from trees and when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
using traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
they can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
deforestation to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean the noun "extent"?
extend
and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "choose"
chose
this way.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are in the search of more alternative ways for making their life better and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our environment.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that in future we will remember traditional paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the memory of past and
Possible spelling mistake found.
İnternet
will replace the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
as a reliable, wide and comfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
source for these mentioned reasons.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay With the rise in popularity of the internet, newspapers will soon become a thing of the past. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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