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With the rapid development of communication technology e g smart phones tablets and other mobile devices some people believe that the disadvantages outweigh advantages To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

With the rapid development of communication technology e g smart phones tablets and other mobile devices some people believe that the disadvantages outweigh advantages v. 1
With the abundance of portable communication technology these days, there has been a lot of discussion that mobile phones, tablets and other devices are producing more issues than benefits to society. I completely disagree with this opinion, as I believe that mobile devices have served more advantages that outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand, the proliferation of social media and teleconferencing tools have drastically improved long distances communication. With a few clicks of a button, speaking to people in other countries via portable devices is now possible. For instance, mobile phones and tablets have enables popular applications like Skype to be used these days to connect face-to-face virtually friends, family or business partners, no matter if next door or in Europe. With the we socialize these days, there is no doubt how beneficial communication technology has been. On the other hand, the development of antisocial behavior has arisen from the revolution of technology. Our increased reliance on mobile devices is changing the way we communicate – from spending quality time together connecting instantaneously. For example, applications only specific to mobile phones and tablets like Instagram and WhatsApp have fostered habits like cyberbullying and social detachment especially amongst teenagers. It is these disadvantages that are causing people to feel that it has outweighed the benefits.
With the abundance of portable communication technology these days, there has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
discussion that mobile phones, tablets and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
are producing more issues than benefits to society. I completely disagree with this opinion, as I believe that mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
have served more advantages that outweigh the disadvantages.

On the one hand, the proliferation of social media and teleconferencing tools have
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
long distances communication. With a few clicks of a button, speaking to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in other countries via portable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
possible.
For instance
, mobile phones and tablets have enables popular applications like Skype to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
these days to connect face-to-face
virtually
friends, family or business partners, no matter if
next
door or in Europe. With
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "we"?
the we
socialize these days, there is no doubt how beneficial communication technology has been.

On the other hand
, the development of antisocial behavior has arisen from the revolution of technology. Our increased reliance on mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
is changing the way we communicate
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
from spending quality time together connecting
instantaneously
.
For example
, applications
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
specific to mobile phones and tablets like Instagram and WhatsApp have fostered habits like cyberbullying and social detachment
especially
amongst
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. It is these disadvantages that are causing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to feel that it has outweighed the benefits.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay With the rapid development of communication technology e g smart phones tablets and other mobile devices some people believe that the disadvantages outweigh advantages v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
215 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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