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With the increasing use and development of new technology, many machines are now able to do the work which people used to perform v.2

With the increasing use and development of new technology, many machines are now able to do the work which people used to perform v. 2
Nowadays in our thriving world the pace of our life at the rapid stage. Many inventions are being created by people' s hands. Most of them are being used for educational purposes, medicine and sport as well. Scientists have developed various creations that facilitating people' s lives and work. Furthermore, there is a bad side-effect of it that should be noticed. In my point of view, advantages outweigh disadvantages because of its comfortability and availability. For instance, owing to them the quality of performances are improved and they become more emotional. Firstly, technology is enhancing day-by-day. In our world, a big part of the population is anti-social, egoistical or shy. For them presenting performances is being a hardship or difficult to deal with it. Moreover, some renditions are complicated to manifest in front of people or the y are troublesome. For these people it a great choice. They can utilize technology from distant to solve these problems and they can be sure about the condition. Secondly, technological bits of advice such as projector, monitor, display and speakers are very dangerous. We retain from our childhood that the majority of people are being killed because of them. They were accidence when unwilling mistakes happened and it causes people' s life. If people more concentrate on pieces of advice the rule of using or warning the dangers the would be less dread and it can be beneficial. In conclusion, I would say that technology is not a bad factor but there would be some misunderstanding if people do not follow the rules
Nowadays in our thriving world the pace of our life at the rapid stage.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
inventions are
being created
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s hands. Most of them are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for educational purposes, medicine and sport
as well
. Scientists have developed various creations that facilitating
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and work.
Furthermore
, there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Did you mean "side effect" (=adverse effect, unintended consequence)? Open compounds are not hyphenated.
side-effect
of it that should
be noticed
. In my point of view, advantages outweigh disadvantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its
Possible spelling mistake found.
comfortability
and availability.
For instance
, owing to them the quality of performances are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
improved and
they become more emotional.

Firstly
, technology is enhancing day-by-day. In our world, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
part of the population is anti-social, egoistical or shy. For them presenting performances is being a hardship or difficult to deal with it.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
renditions
are complicated
to manifest in front of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or the y are troublesome. For these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
it a great choice. They can utilize technology from distant to solve these
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
problems and
they can be sure about the condition.

Secondly
, technological bits of advice such as projector, monitor, display and speakers are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
. We retain from our childhood that the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
being killed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of them. They were
Possible spelling mistake found.
accidence
when unwilling mistakes happened and it causes
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s life. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more concentrate on pieces of advice the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
of using or warning the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
Did you mean "they", "that" or "there"?
the
would be less dread and it can be beneficial.

In conclusion
, I would say that technology is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
factor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
misunderstanding if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay With the increasing use and development of new technology, many machines are now able to do the work which people used to perform v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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