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Machines now play an important role in most people’s lives. Computers, cars and household machines (Such as washing machines) have become very common. What are the advantages and disadvantages of having so many machines in people’s lives? Use specific v.2

Machines now play an important role in most people’s lives. Computers, cars and household machines (Such as washing machines) have become very common. What are the advantages and disadvantages of having so many machines in people’s lives? Use specific v. 2
The impact of machines in our daily life is immeasurable. Although machines have made people’s life comfortable in every aspect such as saving time and raising the individual’s efficiency. However, there are a few drawbacks such as dependency on these gadgets and increased unemployment rate. One of the most crucial role of the machines is that they save an individual’s time. Initially the jobs that human used to complete in days and in some conditions even in months have now been reduced and can be performed in minutes. To illustrate this, before the invention of computers, people used to record data on papers and preserving them was also time consuming and required many work force but after the invention of computers it has became very easy to store the data in the computer’s hard drive and large data can be secured for many years. As a result, people can now utilize their time efficiently. On the contrary, there are few disadvantages of using machines frequently. Unemployment rate has been increased because of the increase in the machine usage. Earlier the task which was performed by many individuals can now be done with a single unit of machine which has caused many humans to loose their jobs. For instance, in a textile firm, which initially needed nine individuals to make a piece of cloth, now requires only three persons to perform the same task because of the machines which can perform sewing, threading tasks and printing tasks without needing further humans. Apart from this, dependency of these gadgets has also reduced individuals’ mental and cognitive thinking. For Example, children have now forgotten the basic mathematical calculations like addition, subtraction because of the calculators. In conclusion, there are many benefits of using machines like saving time and increase human efficiency but besides that there are few negative aspects such as too much dependence on these gadgets has cause lack of mental and cognitive ability in humans and also increased unemployment.
The impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
in our daily life is immeasurable. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
have made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s life comfortable in every aspect such as saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and raising the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
efficiency.
However
, there are a few drawbacks such as dependency on these gadgets and increased unemployment rate.

One of the most crucial role of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
is that they save an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Initially
the jobs that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to complete in days and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conditions even in months have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and can
be performed
in minutes. To illustrate this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the invention of computers,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to record data on papers and preserving them was
also
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
and required
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
work force
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after the invention of computers it has
Use past participle here: "become".
became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to store the data in the computer’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
drive and large data can
be secured
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
utilize their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
efficiently
.

On the contrary
, there are few disadvantages of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
frequently
. Unemployment rate has
been increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
usage. Earlier the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
which
was performed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
be done
with a single unit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
which has caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
to
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
their jobs.
For instance
, in a textile firm, which
initially
needed nine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a piece of cloth,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
requires
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
three persons to perform the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
which can perform sewing, threading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
and printing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
without needing
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. Apart from this, dependency of these gadgets has
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals’
mental and cognitive thinking.
For Example
, children have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
forgotten the basic mathematical calculations like addition, subtraction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the calculators.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
like saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
efficiency
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
besides
that there are few
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects such as too much dependence on these gadgets has cause lack of mental and cognitive ability in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
and
also
increased unemployment.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Machines now play an important role in most people’s lives. Computers, cars and household machines (Such as washing machines) have become very common. What are the advantages and disadvantages of having so many machines in people’s lives? Use specific v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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