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With the increasing use and development of new technology, many machines are now able to do the work which people used to perform v.1

With the increasing use and development of new technology, many machines are now able to do the work which people used to perform v. 1
The popularity of computers has increased gradually over the past couple of decades. They have become an integral part of our day-to-day life. Computers are involved in almost every sector like banking, financing, medicine, education and so on. Modern education includes thorough use of computers. In relation to this, there are some people who believe that the computers can be further used to teach children certain subjects like mathematics. However, there are others who believe that computers can be inadequate in certain aspects of education. This essay will discuss both these ideas in detail. Modern education involves the use of computers in teaching some of the basic subjects to the children. They can be efficiently used in teaching subjects like basics of mathematics, algebra. In addition, they can be used to simplify theoretical subjects, such as History, in such a way as to make the subject interesting for the student. The other line of thought is that computers can be inadequate in developing the children in other facets of education. One of the reasons for this could be the fact that the computer cannot verify if the child has been able to grasp the intended information. This can be better explained using the example of science, which consists of a number of theories, some of which may be difficult to understand. The effectiveness of the computers is limited in this case. Also, their ability in helping the student understand the error and the possible solution to the problem is minimal. For instance, in the subject of mathematics, the computer can prompt of the answer to a particular question is right or wrong, but it cannot help the student in understanding the mistake. Computers have brought a transformation in the field of education, but they will never be able to replace the human touch. In conclusion, I believe that, though computers can be used to teach some of the basic subjects, they are not capable enough to entirely take over the education of a student.
The popularity of computers has increased
gradually
over the past couple of decades. They have become an integral part of our day-to-day life. Computers
are involved
in almost every sector like banking, financing, medicine,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
includes thorough
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers. In relation to this, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who believe that the computers can be
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to teach children certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like mathematics.
However
, there are others who believe that computers can be inadequate in certain aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. This essay will discuss both these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
in detail.

Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
involves the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers in teaching
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to the children. They can be
efficiently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like basics of mathematics, algebra.
In addition
, they can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to simplify theoretical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, such as History, in such a way as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
interesting for the student.

The other line of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
is that computers can be inadequate in developing the children in other facets of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. One of the reasons for this could be the fact that the computer cannot verify if the child has been able to grasp the intended information. This can be better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
using the example of science, which consists of a number of theories,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of which may be difficult to understand. The effectiveness of the computers
is limited
in this case
.
Also
, their ability in helping the student understand the error and the possible solution to the problem is minimal.
For instance
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
of mathematics, the computer can prompt of the answer to a particular question is right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the student in understanding the mistake.

Computers have brought a transformation in the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they will never be able to replace the human touch.
In conclusion
, I believe that, though computers can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to teach
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, they are not capable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
entirely
take over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of a student.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay With the increasing use and development of new technology, many machines are now able to do the work which people used to perform v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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