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Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.2

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. with this statement? v. 2
Computers are one of the gadgets that helps to ease the work of the humans, weather it is work or even home related. For many years it has been proved how technology has taken over so many things that it has reduced the time and human effort. I totally agree with this statement that this invention has been the most useful product from ages. Technology is uplifting the mankind in every single way. Whether it is to compile are hundreds of files in a small Excel sheet to searching over a particular topic on the internet with a variety of options. From online shopping like Amazon, Flipkart to reduce our travel time and energy or even video calling to reduce thousand kilometres distance on one click. Therefore, computers has not only diminished the manpower, but also revolutionized our world on a single screen. People argue that children waste their time on computers by playing games and deteriorate their health and personal touch among friends and families. However, this gadget has not only helped us in many ways but also has made us lazy and fully dependent on technology. People who are techphobe commit few mistakes that lead them in risking their private data, because of which many cases of cyber crime is seen these days. To conclude, computers are proved to be the most friendly invention for the mankind from the past many years. Though people feel it has few disadvantages, but if we remain careful, this gadget can be one of the most helpful technologies.
Computers are one of the gadgets that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the work of the humans, weather it is work or even home related. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years it has
been proved
how technology has taken over
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things that it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the time and human effort. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement that this invention has been the most useful product from ages.

Technology is uplifting the mankind in every single way.
“Whether” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whether
it is to compile are hundreds of files in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
Excel sheet to searching over a particular topic on the internet with a variety of options. From online shopping like Amazon, Flipkart to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
our travel time and energy or even video calling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
Use "a thousand" or use a number before 'thousand'.
thousand
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
distance on one click.
Therefore
, computers has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
diminished the manpower,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
revolutionized our world on a single screen.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
argue that children waste their time on computers by playing games and deteriorate their health and personal touch among friends and families.
However
, this gadget has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
us in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
has made us lazy and
fully
dependent on technology.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who are
Possible spelling mistake found.
techphobe
commit few mistakes that lead them in risking their private data,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases of cyber crime is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
these days.

To conclude
, computers
are proved
to be the most friendly invention for the mankind from the past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years. Though
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel it has few disadvantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if we remain careful, this gadget can be one of the most helpful technologies.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. with this statement? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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