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What are the advantages and disadvantages for children of television. v.1

What are the advantages and disadvantages for children of television. v. 1
In the 21st century, having much screen time on television has become more influential among children. All children are paying attention on television when they have free time. However, there are both advantages and disadvantages for this topic. In this essay, I will discuss both sides, including my opinion. Let's start by looking at the advantages of spending time on television for children. One of the main positives of spending time on television for kids is a source of knowledge. As an example, there are no children who don't like this form of entertainment. In cartoon channel, this will led to know about different types of people in society. Another main benefit of sitting in front of television for youngsters is that it can create a safe environment for children. While children are staying at home, they can avoid from car accidents. Being stay alone at home resulted in peace and privacy environment for all children. Another advantage of having much screen time for preschoolers is escaping from schedules. This means that some children have many schedules to do many exercises for their educational fields. Spending much time on television will get leisure time for all children. Turning to the other side of the argument in this form of entertainment for kids is learning about bad behaviour. For instance, all children will learn types of behaviour from environmental characters. As a result, some children act rudely as other people. One of the biggest disadvantages of spending time on television for boys and girls is a detrimental effect on their education. Spending much time on television resulted in lack of doing lessons. This will lead to fail their exams. Another major drawback is that it can lead to the lack of communication in children with friends. For example, some children are additive to watch television instead of doing their lessons. Some children who are additive to keep an eye on television created out of society. To conclude, there are both positive and negative to this way of the popular leisure activity. In spite of the fact that it removes stress, gets leisure time and learn characters from society. Personally, I believe it is common interest among children and the negatives in terms of paying attention to television among children outweigh any benefits.
In the 21st century, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
screen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has become more influential among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are paying attention on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
when they have free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
However
, there are both advantages and disadvantages for this topic. In this essay, I will discuss both sides, including my opinion.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
by looking at the advantages of
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spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. One of the main positives of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
for kids is a source of knowledge. As an example, there are no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who don't like this form of entertainment. In cartoon channel, this will led to know about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in society. Another main benefit of sitting in front of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
for youngsters is that it can create a safe environment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are staying at home, they can avoid from car accidents. Being
Consider using a past participle here: "staid", "stayed".
stay
alone at home resulted in peace and privacy environment for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Another advantage of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
screen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for preschoolers is escaping from schedules. This means that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
schedules to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
exercises for their educational fields.
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Spending
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much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
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television
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
leisure
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time
for all children.

Turning to the other side of the argument in this form of entertainment for kids is learning about
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bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
For instance
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will learn types of
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
from environmental characters.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
act
rudely
as other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. One of the biggest disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
for boys and girls is a detrimental effect on their education.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
resulted in lack of doing lessons. This will lead to fail their exams. Another major drawback is that it can lead to the lack of communication in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with friends.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are additive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
instead
of doing their lessons.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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children
who are additive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eye on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
created out of society.

To conclude
, there are both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
to this way of the popular leisure activity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the fact that it removes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and learn characters from society.
Personally
, I believe it is common interest among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and the negatives in terms of paying attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
outweigh any benefits.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
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Persian Proverb

IELTS essay What are the advantages and disadvantages for children of television. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
381 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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