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Which of the following jobs would you prefer to have? - A job at a company that offers challenging and interesting projects but few vacation days? - A job at a company that does not challenge you, but offers a lot of vacation days? Use details and examples t v.1

Which of the following jobs would you prefer to have? - A job at a company that offers challenging and interesting projects but few vacation days? - A job at a company that does not challenge you, but offers a lot of vacation days? Use details and examples t v. 1
When giving a job offer, it is critically important to choose what type of job you should accept and why. In my opinion, I would prefer a challenging job, full of effort and determination. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. First of all, jobs full of challenges require professionals more competitive and aggressive. Moreover, when a professional is happy with his or her job, the performance is usually higher. For this reason, professionals need to stay up to date with all the requirements that the profession demands. My personal experience is a compelling example of that. Twenty years ago, when I graduate from university, I did not have a hard time looking for a job. The demand was high and the qualifications were lower. Apply for a Pharmacist position was as simple as to fill out an application form and pass an interview. As time pass by, more and more students graduated in the same field and more regulations were added to my profession in order to comply with the National Board requisites. My Curriculum Vitae was not enough; I also needed twenty hours of Continuing Education every two years to maintain my license active, a Certificate of Immunization and an Intensive English Program as well. For this motive, I had to take several courses and seminars to comply with the requisites. Furthermore, I was so determined to excel that I went to FIU for the english program because I graduated from a foreign institution. It took me two years to accomplish it, but it was worthy. For all these reasons mention above, I feel more confident and secure about myself now since I can compete and excel. I have all the tools to do it. Secondly, interesting projects are more fun and challenging than ordinary work. It is a fact that happy workers can make a huge impact in a company and increase the company’s expectations and productivity as well. Although it is crucial for our mental health to have vacations from time to time, in my opinion is more important when we feel happy in our job, because it is there where we spent most of our time. I remember two years ago when our pharmacy was selected to work in a new project. We spent almost two months working intensively, without going home. Moreover, we were stressed with the new task during the day, but we enjoyed the time we spent together because we were doing a lot of fun and new activities at night, and we get to know each other better. The time flew, and as result, the project was validated and approved. Furthermore, the pilot project was selected to go nationwide, and we had the opportunity to teach it to a lot of colleagues, in different states and different pharmacies. In my opinion, the program not only was funny, but also interesting and challenging. We were so eager to excel that we decided to write an article in the prestigious magazine Pharmacy Times. For this reason, I personally believe that is better to be busy at work than bored. To conclude, I am of the opinion that is better to have an absorbing and demanding job. This is because challenging jobs demand professionals more prepare and because those types of job can be more fun than a regular job.
When giving a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
offer, it is
critically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to choose what type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
you should accept and why. In my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
, I would prefer a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, full of effort and determination. I feel this way for two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, which I will explore in the following essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
full of challenges require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
more competitive and aggressive.
Moreover
, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
is happy with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, the performance is
usually
higher. For this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
need to stay up to date with all the requirements that the profession demands. My personal experience is a compelling example of that. Twenty years ago, when I graduate from university, I did not have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
looking for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. The demand was high and the qualifications were lower. Apply for a Pharmacist position was as simple as to fill out an application form and pass an interview. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
pass by, more and more students graduated in the same field and more regulations were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to my profession in order to comply with the National Board requisites. My Curriculum Vitae was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
; I
also
needed twenty hours of Continuing Education every two years to maintain my license active, a Certificate of Immunization and an Intensive English Program
as well
. For this motive, I had to take several courses and seminars to comply with the requisites.
Furthermore
, I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
determined to excel that I went to
Possible spelling mistake found.
FIU
for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
english
program
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I graduated from a foreign institution. It took me two years to accomplish it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was worthy. For all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
mention above, I feel more confident and secure about myself
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
since I can compete and excel. I have all the tools to do it.

Secondly
, interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
are more fun and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenging
than ordinary work. It is a fact that happy workers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a huge impact in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s expectations and productivity
as well
. Although it is crucial for our mental health to have vacations from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
when we feel happy in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is there where we spent most of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. I remember two years ago when our pharmacy
was selected
to work in a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
. We spent almost two months working
intensively
, without going home.
Moreover
, we were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
with the new task during the day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we enjoyed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
we spent together
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we were doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
fun and new activities at night, and we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know each other better. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
flew, and as result, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
was validated
and approved.
Furthermore
, the pilot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
was selected
to go nationwide, and we had the opportunity to teach it to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
colleagues, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
states and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
pharmacies. In my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
, the program not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
interesting and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenging
. We were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
eager to excel that we decided to write an article in the prestigious magazine Pharmacy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
. For this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
, I
personally
believe
that is
better to be busy at work than bored.

To conclude
, I am of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
that is
better to have an absorbing and demanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
demand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
more prepare and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
those types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
can be more fun than a regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Which of the following jobs would you prefer to have? - A job at a company that offers challenging and interesting projects but few vacation days? - A job at a company that does not challenge you, but offers a lot of vacation days? Use details and examples t v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
564 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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