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With the help of technology, students nowadays can learn more information and learn it more quickly. v.2

With the help of technology, students nowadays can learn more information and learn it more quickly. v. 2
With the advanced development of technology, it is easier for students to get information as much as they need these days. As a result, they get more knowledge than the previous generations and learn quicker as well. I personally agree with it and the following essay will discuss it in details. Firstly, it is a fact that with the existence of the internet technology, people could get more information and data than ever before. The online technology offers various kinds of websites which provide precious and useful information. And students could easily get that precious and important information by connecting their computer to the internet. Consequently, students obtain more information than ever before and it has positively affected their intellectual and intelligence behaviour. Secondly, the research has showed that with the advanced technology, students are faster in learning and absorbing lessons that they have studied. The technology provides various types of tools and platforms which can be used by students in their study. For example, students could learn new things not only by reading traditional books these days, as they could search some audios or videos on the internet that could give a more comprehensive understanding of the lesson that they are studying. Therefore it is undeniable that students are learning faster these days. In conclusion, I strongly agree that technology has positively affected the way students learn these days, as the advanced technology has assisted students in gaining more information than ever before, and students are learning quicker these days.
With the advanced development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, it is easier for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
as much as they need these days.
As a result
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more knowledge than the previous generations and learn quicker
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
well. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with it and the following essay will discuss it in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

Firstly
, it is a fact that with the existence of the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and data than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. The online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
offers various kinds of websites which provide precious and useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
that precious and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
by connecting their computer to the internet.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
obtain more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and it has
positively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
their intellectual and intelligence
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

Secondly
, the research has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that with the advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are faster in learning and absorbing lessons that they have studied. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
provides various types of tools and platforms which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in their study.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could learn new things not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by reading traditional books these days, as they could search
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
audios or videos on the internet that could give a more comprehensive understanding of the lesson that they are studying.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are learning faster these days.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
positively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learn these days, as the advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has assisted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in gaining more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are learning quicker these days.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay With the help of technology, students nowadays can learn more information and learn it more quickly. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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