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There is nothing that young people can teach older people. v.2

There is nothing that young people can teach older people. v. 2
When it comes to learning, it can be learned from anyone- regardless of age, profession or race. Consequently, I totally disagree with the statement that young people can teach older people nothing. For several reasons, I think that young people can teach older people many things. First of all, young people intend to learn new things faster including the use of new technologies. Young people can always teach the older how to use technologies and those modern tools. Second, young people are more motivated. They aspire to succeed professionally which requires vast knowledge and experience these days. So, they try to acquire knowledge and experience from different sources like the Internet, books, newspaper, magazines and of course from conversations with other people. In terms of knowledge sharing, the young generation can always motivate and teach the older generation. In addition to this, youngsters bring many fresh ideas to the team they are working in. For example, when my friend was hired as a software developer, he surprised everybody with his energy, a bunch of new and fresh ideas about what could be done to improve the process. The fresh idea and innovation of young people are something older people can always learn from. He was the youngest member of the team but everybody listened to him and it was like a fresh air, an impulse, which made everyone work harder. Even the senior employees of this office learned from this young person. Finally, young people often know more about new technologies and how to use these. For example, my husband is 26 years old and he is a software developer So, he is often asked to deliver lectures for different companies and audience. Needless to say, the majority of people who attend those lectures are older than my husband and definitely, they can learn many things from the comparatively young person like my husband. To conclude, I think that young people have many things to teach older people. Moreover, people from every generation have something to learn from each other. People learn through their entire lives from the history, life experience, elders as well as from younger people.
When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to learning, it can
be learned
from anyone- regardless of age, profession or race.
Consequently
, I
totally
disagree with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nothing. For several reasons, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
intend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things faster including the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technologies.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
technologies and those modern tools. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more motivated. They aspire to succeed
professionally
which requires vast knowledge and experience these days.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they try to acquire knowledge and experience from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sources like the Internet, books, newspaper, magazines and
of course
from conversations with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In terms of knowledge sharing, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation can always motivate and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
generation.
In addition
to this, youngsters bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to the team they are working in.
For example
, when my friend
was hired
as a software developer, he surprised everybody with his energy, a bunch of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
about what could
be done
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the process. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and innovation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from. He was the youngest member of the team
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
everybody listened to him and it was like a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
air, an impulse, which made everyone work harder. Even the senior employees of this office learned from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
person.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
know more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technologies and how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these.
For example
, my husband is 26 years
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
old and
he is a software developer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, he is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
asked to deliver lectures for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and audience. Needless to say, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who attend those lectures are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
than my husband and definitely, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things from the
comparatively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
person like my husband.

To conclude
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from every generation have something to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from each other.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
through their entire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
from the history, life experience, elders
as well
as from younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
53Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay There is nothing that young people can teach older people. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
358 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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