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With the development of modern society is the loss of traditional ways of life Is it important to keep our traditional ways of life How can this be achieved v.1

With the development of modern society is the loss of traditional ways of life Is it important to keep our traditional ways of life How can this be achieved v. 1
According to some, a device which reduces human work and advanced technology connected equipment's are adding complexity to human activity. Whereas some, thinks that these devices make our life easier. Common people like housewife and international students are greatly benefited by using these technologies. To begin with, household appliances have been playing a vital role in sharing manual work and save time. Especially, home makers are loaded with lots of activity, end up with physical and mental exhausted state which makes them difficult to balance their family and personal needs. But, when they are using modern equipment's such as dishwasher, microwave oven, washing machine etc. , they could save energy and time and use their valuable hours for much needed activity such as spending memorable moments with their children's or personal grooming activities. This in turns makes them feel relaxed and refreshed. A Recent study conducted by the health care department in India states that less workload gradually reduces up to 50% of the stress (cortisol level) production. Another important sector where technology is considered as a boon is in communication, helps to connect people from various countries regardless of their boundaries. In olden days, people who want to travel abroad are away from their family for different purpose such as study or work, find it very difficult to communicate back and eventually fall on homesickness. But, now-a-days with the help of advance technology such as mobile phone enabled with internet make it possible to connect visually and for cheaper prices. So, this makes their life easier and hassle free. In conclusion, even though advancement had some minor drawback, advance technologies paves the way to live a stress-free life and save time and energy.
According to
some
, a device which
reduces
human work and advanced
technology
connected equipment's are adding complexity to human
activity
. Whereas
some
,
thinks
that these devices
make
our life easier. Common
people
like housewife and international students are
greatly
benefited by using these technologies.

To
begin
with, household appliances have been playing a vital role in sharing manual work and save time.
Especially
,
home makers
are loaded
with lots of
activity
,
end
up with physical and mental exhausted state which
makes
them difficult to balance their family and personal needs.
But
, when they are using modern equipment's such as dishwasher, microwave oven, washing machine etc.
,
they could save energy and time and
use
their valuable hours for
much needed
activity
such as spending memorable moments with their children's or personal grooming
activities
. This in turns
makes
them feel relaxed and refreshed. A Recent study conducted by the health care department in India states that less workload
gradually
reduces
up to 50% of the
stress
(cortisol level) production.

Another
important
sector where
technology
is considered
as a boon is in communication,
helps
to connect
people
from various countries regardless of their boundaries. In olden days,
people
who want to travel abroad are away from their family for
different
purpose such as study or work, find it
very
difficult to communicate back and
eventually
fall on homesickness.
But
,
now
-a-days with the
help
of advance
technology
such as mobile phone enabled with internet
make
it possible to connect
visually
and for cheaper prices.
So
, this
makes
their life easier and hassle free.

In conclusion
,
even though
advancement had
some
minor drawback, advance
technologies
paves the way to
live
a
stress
-free life and save time and energy.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay With the development of modern society is the loss of traditional ways of life Is it important to keep our traditional ways of life How can this be achieved v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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