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Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion. v.17

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. v. 17
Nowadays we can talk about a steady increase in the pace of integration of computers in the educational process. Some people believe that this is a beneficial trend, while others are opposed to this view. From my perspective, using computers in education has more advantages than disadvantages. According to some people, the computers make the learning process faster and more efficient. This is due to the fact that computer technology allows you to present the material more accessible through interactive elements such as videos, quizzes, online models, multimedia textbooks and so on. For instance, research by the University of Cambridge shows that the residual knowledge of students who use computers during classes is on average twice as high as that of those who do not. On the other hand, some oppose the use of computers in education because this trend leads to negative consequences such as the deterioration of the health of young people. In other words, constant use of the computer, especially at school, leads to poor eyesight, problems with the spine and even mental disorders. This is illustrated by state statistics according to which people who spend most of their time on gadgets are most susceptible to myopia and osteochondrosis. Personally, I supposed that the introduction of computers in the educational process has many advantages. The most significant of them is that thanks to computer technologies, education becomes more accessible. Regardless of their status, prosperity and place of residence, anyone can get the knowledge and skills they need through a variety of available online courses and educational platforms. Moreover, computers allow us to continue learning regardless of external factors, whether it is an illness, vacation, or an unfavourable epidemiological situation. For example, during an epidemic of coronavirus, universities and schools can continue their work precisely at the expense of computers. In conclusion, the use of computers in education has its pros and cons, but in my opinion the positive consequences outweigh the disadvantages.
Nowadays we can talk about a steady increase in the pace of integration of computers in the educational process.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this is a beneficial trend, while others
are opposed
to this view. From my perspective, using computers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has more advantages than disadvantages.

According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the computers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the learning process faster and more efficient.
This is due to the fact that
computer technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
you to present the material more accessible through interactive elements such as videos, quizzes, online models, multimedia textbooks and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
For instance
, research by the University of Cambridge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the residual knowledge of students who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers during classes is on average twice as high as that of those who do not.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
oppose the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this trend leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences such as the deterioration of the health of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In other words
, constant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the computer,
especially
at school, leads to poor eyesight, problems with the spine and even mental disorders. This
is illustrated
by state statistics according to which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who spend most of their time on gadgets are most susceptible to myopia and
Possible spelling mistake found.
osteochondrosis
.

Personally
, I supposed that the introduction of computers in the educational process has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages. The most significant of them is that thanks to computer technologies,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
becomes more accessible. Regardless of their status, prosperity and place of residence, anyone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
they need through a variety of available online courses and educational platforms.
Moreover
, computers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
us to continue learning regardless of external factors, whether it is an illness, vacation, or an
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
epidemiological situation.
For example
, during an epidemic of coronavirus, universities and schools can continue their work
precisely
at the expense of computers.

In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has its pros and cons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
consequences outweigh the disadvantages.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. v. 17

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
325 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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