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today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the sahara desert or antarctica. what are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v.1

today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the sahara desert or antarctica. what are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 1
Many holiday makers explore places where the climate is far different from their homeland as part of their adventure. Although travellers struggle with environmental challenges while abroad, they will also gain significant life experiences. In my opinion, exploring different places are far better off despite the challenges that they will inevitably face. The greatest benefit of travelling to different places with harsh climate conditions is that travellers will have life experiences that will improve their ability to understand different cultures and to survive in such conditions that would have been otherwise impossible if they had only explored their own countries. Being in another country requires travellers to push themselves beyond the norm into unusually difficult experiences. For example, when I was in Sahara desert, I was continually pushed out of my comfort zone into psychological states that were unique and novel and that I had to adopt no matter what. These ultra-challenging experiences are paradoxically the main advantage of exploring places with different conditions. The main challenges that travellers will face while overseas is usually environmental challenges such as places with hot weather may make you dehydrated which in turn make you seriously ill. Places like Sahara desert where the climate is extremely hot are the main reason behind dehydration. For instance, while travelling in Sahara desert I was running out of water and there is no water widely. Travelling to places like Sahara desert or Antarctica has become incredibly common. While explorer will do doubt experience environmental challenges, it is in fact, these challenges that lead to the main advantages of travelling abroad which is cultural and survival growth. In my opinion, experiencing different climates are more advantageous than disadvantageous.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
holiday makers explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
is far
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different
from their homeland as part of their adventure. Although
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
struggle with environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenges
while abroad, they will
also
gain significant life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
. In my opinion, exploring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are far better off despite the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenges
that they will
inevitably
face.

The greatest benefit of travelling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
with harsh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
conditions is that
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
will have life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their ability to understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures and to survive in such conditions that would have been
otherwise
impossible if they had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
explored their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
countries. Being in another country requires
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
to push themselves beyond the norm into
unusually
difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
.
For example
, when I was in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sahara
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desert
, I was
continually
pushed out of my comfort zone into psychological states that were unique and novel and that I had to adopt no matter what. These ultra-challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
are
paradoxically
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
advantage of exploring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
conditions.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenges
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
will face while overseas is
usually
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenges
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
with hot weather may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you dehydrated which in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you
seriously
ill.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Places
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sahara
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desert
where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
is
extremely
hot are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
reason behind dehydration.
For instance
, while travelling in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sahara
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desert
I was running out of water and there is no water
widely
.

Travelling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sahara
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desert
or Antarctica has become
incredibly
common. While explorer will do doubt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenges
, it is in fact, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenges
that lead to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
advantages of travelling abroad which is cultural and survival growth. In my opinion, experiencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climates
are more advantageous than disadvantageous.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the sahara desert or antarctica. what are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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