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In many countries around the world, shopping has turned into a form of entertainment rather than a way of getting what people need. Discuss the reason for this trend. Is it a positive or negative development. v.3

In many countries around the world, shopping has turned into a form of entertainment rather than a way of getting what people need. Discuss the reason for this trend. Is it a positive or negative development. v. 3
Today shopping is more of an impulsive purchase rather than its necessity. Since there is an increase in shopping malls around the globe shopping has become easier as everything is available under one roof. This essay will discuss why shopping is considered as an entertainment today and in my opinion, I feel there are more negative aspects to this trend than positive. On the one hand, earlier people used to do shopping for fulfilling their basic requirements, but today it is seen as a leisure activity. Today people purchase products that are not essential for them. The change in this trend of shopping is because today' s generation earns more than earlier people. Therefore, their disposable income is higher. Moreover, today there are myriad of financial schemes such as EMI, credit card and so on which makes purchasing any value of goods easy. For example, if an individual wants to shop a mobile, he can purchase it even if he has no money to pay for it immediately. Such purchases were not possible during earlier days. Therefore, shopping at ease is treated as an entertainment for people. On the other hand, even though people have more income today and do more shopping there are situations where people buy products which are unnecessary. Due to this impulsive purchase using credit facilities many individuals go under financial crisis. For example, in a recent survey, it was found that 80% of youngsters borrowed loans from banks to purchase products that are beyond the capacity and became financial defaulters. Today youngsters do shopping on seeing what others own and in order to maintain the same status they do unwanted shopping. To conclude, shopping can be considered as an entertainment if there is a need for the product and can maintain financial discipline.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is more of an impulsive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
rather
than its necessity. Since there is an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls around the globe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has become easier as everything is available under one roof. This essay will discuss why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is considered
as an entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
and in my opinion, I feel there are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects to this trend than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
.

On the one hand, earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
for fulfilling their basic requirements,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a leisure activity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that are not essential for them. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in this trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s generation earns more than earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
, their disposable income is higher.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
there are myriad of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
schemes such as EMI, credit card and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
purchasing any value of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
easy.
For example
, if an individual wants to shop a mobile, he can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
it even if he has no money to pay for it immediately. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchases
were not possible during earlier days.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
is treated
as an entertainment for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
and do more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
there are situations where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which are unnecessary. Due to this impulsive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
using credit facilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals go under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
crisis.
For example
, in a recent survey, it
was found
that 80% of youngsters borrowed loans from banks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that are beyond the capacity and became
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
defaulters.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Today
youngsters do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
on seeing what others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and in order to maintain the same status they do unwanted shopping.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
can
be considered
as an entertainment if there is a need for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and can maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
discipline.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries around the world, shopping has turned into a form of entertainment rather than a way of getting what people need. Discuss the reason for this trend. Is it a positive or negative development. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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