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News editors decide what to broadcast on TV and what to print in newspapers. Some people feel that news broadcasts focus too heavily on bad news and should include lighter stories while others believe that the news should remain focused on important event v.1

News editors decide what to broadcast on TV and what to print in newspapers. Some people feel that news broadcasts focus too heavily on bad news and should include lighter stories while others believe that the news should remain focused on important event v. 1
Currently, the majority of artisans earns less than average; therefore, they are required to be supported by the government, according to some. In my opinion, I strongly disagree the statement because the authority has many other more pressing issues to look after. Firstly, as some people believe that artists are in a serious financial crisis, this is true for only a fraction of the group. In recent times, for instance, it has been found that artists are the one of the major groups who contributes to the national income. Therefore, I consider there is no need to provide money for supporting them. By contrast, there are many other areas: transportation, hospital, and school are encountering severe financial crisis, which may affect not only one particular group, but entire society as well. Secondly, those who are unable to acquire well paid work may be failed to meet the employer requirements. So it is extremely important to provide them with necessary guidances and training programs to upgrade their knowledge and skills incorporated with latest technology and communication skills. In other words, even though traditional arts are popular today, which need to be developed along with modern technology and advancement to flourish further and compete with other people. Additionally, it is vital for artists to be supported to receive loans to start some innavative establishments, rather than requesting funding from the government. By way of conclusion, while some people believe that as a large proportion of people who are artists secure an only minimum wage from work, so the government must fund them, I, personally again reaffirm that it is unnecessary to assist them financially. Since many other areas, even, worsen this, not yet funded.
Currently
, the majority of artisans earns less than average;
therefore
, they
are required
to
be supported
by the
government
, according to
some
. In my opinion, I
strongly
disagree the statement
because
the authority has
many
other
more pressing issues to look after.

Firstly
, as
some
people
believe that
artists
are in a serious financial crisis, this is true for
only
a fraction of the group. In recent times,
for instance
, it has
been found
that
artists
are the one of the major groups who contributes to the national income.
Therefore
, I consider there is no need to provide money for supporting them. By contrast, there are
many
other
areas: transportation, hospital, and school are encountering severe financial crisis, which may affect not
only
one particular group,
but
entire society
as well
.

Secondly
, those who are unable to acquire well paid work may
be failed
to
meet
the employer requirements.
So
it is
extremely
important
to provide them with necessary
guidances
and training programs to upgrade their knowledge and
skills
incorporated with
latest
technology and communication
skills
. In
other
words,
even though
traditional arts are popular
today
, which need to
be developed
along with modern technology and advancement to flourish
further
and compete with
other
people
.
Additionally
, it is vital for
artists
to
be supported
to receive loans to
start
some
innavative
establishments,
rather
than requesting funding from the
government
.

By way of conclusion, while
some
people
believe that as a large proportion of
people
who are
artists
secure an
only
minimum wage from work,
so
the
government
must
fund them, I,
personally
again reaffirm that it is unnecessary to assist them
financially
. Since
many
other
areas, even, worsen this, not
yet
funded.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay News editors decide what to broadcast on TV and what to print in newspapers. Some people feel that news broadcasts focus too heavily on bad news and should include lighter stories while others believe that the news should remain focused on important event v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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