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With growing population in cities, more and more people live in a home with small or no outdoor areas. Is it a positive or negative development? v.3

With growing population in cities, more and more people live in a home with small or no outdoor areas. Is it a positive or negative development? v. 3
It is true that an increasing number of people have to live in houses or flats which are cramped or there is no outdoor area. While this trend could be positive to some extent, I would argue that its negative side is greater. On the one hand, a small space offers people a frugal and simple lifestyle. First, since smaller houses or flats are cheaper to rent or buy, many urban dwellers opt to live in them as the best available option. These kinds of accommodation especially suit many young people who are studying or just have a job as they are living on a budget. Second, homeowners of small houses could be able to spend less time on cleaning up their home. This becomes increasingly important in the fast pace of life in which many people so catch up in the pressure of work, and need more leisure time to recharge their batteries. On the other hand, I believe that this housing trend has a significant negative impact. One consideration is that the limitation of open spaces for physical activities discourages citizens to do workouts. This sedentary lifestyle makes people more prone to the risk of developing some forms of diseases such as obesity and diabetes. In addition, lack of spaces leads to lack of privacy which might result in interest conflicts between family members. For instance, children might find it really difficult to find a quiet private place to concentrate on their homework while their parents are watching television. In conclusion, while small living spaces bring about several benefits, I believe that the drawbacks of this tendency are much greater.
It is true that an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
or flats which
are cramped
or there is no outdoor area. While this trend could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, I would argue that its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side is greater.

On the one hand, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
offers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a frugal and simple lifestyle.
First
, since smaller
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
or flats are cheaper to rent or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
urban dwellers opt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in them as the best available option. These kinds of accommodation
especially
suit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are studying or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
have a job as they are living on a budget. Second, homeowners of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
could be able to spend less time on cleaning up their home. This becomes
increasingly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace of life in which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
catch up in the pressure of work, and need more leisure time to recharge their batteries.

On the other hand
, I believe that this housing trend has a significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact. One consideration is that the limitation of open
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
for physical activities discourages citizens to do workouts. This sedentary lifestyle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more prone to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of developing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
forms of diseases such as obesity and diabetes.
In addition
, lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
leads to lack of privacy which might result in interest conflicts between family members.
For instance
, children might find it
really
difficult to find a quiet private place to concentrate on their homework while their parents are watching television.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
bring about several benefits, I believe that the drawbacks of this tendency are much greater.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay With growing population in cities, more and more people live in a home with small or no outdoor areas. Is it a positive or negative development? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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