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with arise in popularity of the internet newspapers will soon become a thing of the past to what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

with arise in popularity of the internet newspapers will soon become a thing of the past v. 2
A society is transcending towards globalised 21st century, internet plays a vital role. There is a thought about the newspapers that it will be thing of the past soon due to popularity of the internet. I completely agree to this statement. My points along with examples are described in the ensuing paragraphs. To commence with, today, human life style is highly influenced by the internet. With the rising network of social media on the internet, people now can access and read news, articles, stories and many more in just one tab on mobile. There are plenty of websites are available on the internet which provide latest news. In addition, the news provided by the online media are covered by the audio and video visuals, which attract people more rather than piece of papers. For instance, last month in the oath taking ceremony of the earth honorable prime minister Shri Narendra Modi, there were many online channels and websites playing and showing the video clip of that ceremony, which made people satisfied and proud for the nation. Moreover, internet access enables people to read and watch any type of news from the past and present time, which means there is no boundary limit for reading such type of news and information of anytime. What is more, it also has a tremendous advantage or we can say a feature of live streaming. In the past, many people had faced severe conditions like earthquake, traffic jam and flood due to inconvenience of the news. Now people can already aware by knowing the situation by the live streaming news. For instance, two days ago I watch news on the local YouTube channel that was displaying the traffic jam condition on the same route where I was going, which warned me to change my route and time. However, news has served our older generation very well. Many people among them love this newspaper tradition because they do not have to go anywhere for the news of all around the World. some people believe in newspapers more than the internet news because the believe that the news which are printed in the newspapers are examined by the reporters in deep way before printing it. In conclusion, internet news has immense amenities to serve people by its unique features which add benefits to human' s rapid lifestyle.
A society is transcending towards
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalised' is British English.
globalised
21st century, internet plays a vital role. There is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
that it will be thing of the past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
due to popularity of the internet. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this statement. My points along with examples are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
in the ensuing paragraphs.

To commence with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, human life style is
highly
influenced by the internet. With the rising network of social media on the internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
can access and read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, articles, stories and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one tab on mobile. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of websites are available on the internet which provide
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
provided by the online media
are covered
by the audio and video visuals, which attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more
rather
than piece of papers.
For instance
, last month in the oath taking ceremony of the earth honorable prime minister
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shri
Narendra
Possible spelling mistake found.
Modi
, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
online channels and websites playing and showing the video clip of that ceremony, which made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
satisfied and proud for the nation.

Moreover
, internet access enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to read and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
any type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
from the past and present time, which means there is no boundary limit for reading such type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and information of anytime.
What is more
, it
also
has a tremendous
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
advantage or
we can say a feature of
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
live streaming
. In the past,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had faced severe conditions like earthquake, traffic jam and flood due to inconvenience of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can already aware by knowing the situation by the
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
live streaming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
For instance
, two days ago I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on the local YouTube channel that was displaying the traffic jam condition on the same route where I was going, which warned me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
my route and time.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
has served our older generation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
among them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
tradition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go anywhere for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
of all around the World.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
more than the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
Did you mean "belief" (noun) instead of believe (verb)?
believe
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
which
are printed
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
are examined
by the reporters in deep way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
printing it.

In conclusion
, internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
has immense amenities to serve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by its unique features which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
benefits to
Possible spelling mistake found.
human&
#039; s rapid lifestyle.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay with arise in popularity of the internet newspapers will soon become a thing of the past v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
390 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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