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With an increasing population communicating via internet and text messaging, face to face communication will become thing of past. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

With an increasing population communicating via internet and text messaging, face to face communication will become thing of past. v. 1
Communication through modern gadgets have become incredibly popular among people. Many people are relying on this medium to connect each other nowadays along with this rising population communication has become easier by the use of internet and text messages. While some people believe that, human interaction will be a scarce activity in the near future. This essay will amplify why it is a true fact that people are facing now. Human interaction has become a rare part of our life, which is essential for every individual's. First of all, it enhances individual social cognition, and also teaches people valuable skills such as discourse, debate and empathy. In order to develop our communication skill, realistic conversation are indeed and unavoidable. For instance, meeting new people helps people to expand their knowledge about different things and open up new sources. Furthermore, meeting people encourage people to live beyond the life, which is limited. However, globalisation has become possible with the use of modern tech, which provides virtual interact and share. First and foremost, these devices are way faster than ever before, because, these inventions make it possible to share information or having conversations with just a simple click. Modern science has inventing cutting-edge innovation that attracts people, to consume those products. For example, many companies and industries are using this medium for a business meeting or team project in online, with live video conference. For that reason people are now able to do their work from home not to go outside. In addition, these tools have made even better life than we had in the past, although, it distracts people to be social. In conclusion, technology deprives such human contact, in realism, which makes people stone hearted and causes many serious issues. To infer, I am convinced that we should such devices to communicate for their necessity, but, not to deviate from the reality.
Communication through modern gadgets have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
incredibly
popular among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are relying on this medium to connect each other nowadays along with this rising population communication has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
easier by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet and text messages. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that, human interaction will be a scarce activity in the near future. This essay will amplify why it is a true fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. Human interaction has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a rare part of our life, which is essential for every individual's.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it enhances individual social cognition, and
also
teaches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
valuable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as discourse, debate and empathy. In order to develop our communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, realistic conversation are
indeed
and unavoidable.
For instance
, meeting new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to expand their knowledge about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things and open up new sources.
Furthermore
, meeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
beyond the life, which
is limited
.

However
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
possible with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of modern tech, which provides virtual interact and share.
First
and foremost, these devices are way faster than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, these inventions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it possible to share information or having conversations with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a simple click. Modern science has inventing cutting-edge innovation that attracts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, to consume those products.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and industries are using this medium for a business meeting or team project in online, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
video conference. For that reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
able to do their work from home not to go outside.
In addition
, these tools have made even better life than we had in the past, although, it distracts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be social.

In conclusion
, technology deprives such human contact, in realism, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stone hearted and causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
serious issues. To infer, I
am convinced
that we should such devices to communicate for their necessity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, not to deviate from the reality.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay With an increasing population communicating via internet and text messaging, face to face communication will become thing of past. v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
312 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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