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Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your experience v.2

Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. 2
It is believed that the employment should no longer take place when employees are at the limited age. However, age does not potentially determine the strength of employees due to the fact that people who stay for a while are used to the tasks and well-oriented. On the one hand, people tend to perceive the idea of their works as simple as their daily routines. In other words, they master their works without instructions comparable to the beginning of their occupations. For instance, employees can tackle problems in which others are unable to. It is undoubtedly that people are qualified for a specific task which is no substitute. Indeed, it is clear that people achieve their jobs as a piece of cakes when they are under the courses for some certain period. However, there are some pitfall. Some worker may not realize during such moment. For instance, the agent may have to handle tasking while they could not focus on a single one properly. Thuss, the management could render an unfavourable result. Although, working may result some mistakes, experts tend to recognize the mistake beforehand as they are used in their works. Therefore, the number of mistakes are not noticeable as they are ought to be. People who stay in their positions for a long time are capable in task-management due to their skills. Consequently, expertise notice their mistakes in advance because they are well-equipped with their backgrounds and past lessons. In conclusion, the retirement does not play a crucial role in ceasing the on-going work. People should be encouraged to stay in their posts.
It
is believed
that the employment should no longer take place when employees are at the limited age.
However
, age does not
potentially
determine the strength of employees due to the fact that
people
who stay for a while are
used
to the tasks and well-oriented.

On the one hand,
people
tend to perceive the
idea
of their works as simple as their daily routines.
In other words
, they master their works without instructions comparable to the beginning of their occupations.
For instance
, employees can tackle problems in which others are unable to. It is
undoubtedly
that
people
are qualified
for a specific task which is no substitute.

Indeed
, it is
clear
that
people
achieve their jobs as a piece of cakes when they are under the courses for
some
certain period.
However
, there are
some
pitfall
.
Some
worker may not realize during such moment.
For instance
, the agent may
have to
handle tasking while they could not focus on a single one
properly
.
Thuss
, the management could render an
unfavourable
result. Although, working may result
some
mistakes
, experts tend to recognize the
mistake
beforehand as they are
used
in their works.
Therefore
, the number of
mistakes
are not noticeable as they are ought to be.

People
who stay in their positions for a long time are capable in task-management due to their
skills
.
Consequently
, expertise notice their
mistakes
in advance
because
they are well-equipped with their backgrounds and past lessons.
In conclusion
, the retirement does not play a crucial role in ceasing the
on-going
work
.
People
should
be encouraged
to stay in their posts.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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