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With an increasing percentage of the population communicating via the internet and text messaging, face to face communication will become a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree? v.2

With an increasing percentage of the population communicating via the internet and text messaging, face to face communication will become a thing of the past. v. 2
According to some people, the rise in the use of internet based communication tools and text messages will result in the demise of face to face communication. I strongly agree with this view. In my opinion, the latest forms of communication will eclipse traditional methods soon. Internet based communication is becoming more and more popular because it is quick and reliable. Since internet networks are now available in all parts of the world, people can communicate with their friends, family and clients scattered across the world at any hour of the day. Also internet communication is possible in many different ways. For example, we can send an email or engage in a video chat. In other words, the latest system of communication has made life much easier with useful features like inexpensive video chatting with family and friends. For example, I use Skype every evening to chat with my parents in India. Another benefit is that the instant communication tools of of the modern era eliminate the need to travel long distances to have an interaction or deliver a message. Thus, it can be considered economic too and highly suitable for business and education needs. As face to face interactions may require travelling and meeting at a certain place, they are a time consuming process, which is unsuitable for the requirement of the modern life where one needs to do more in less time. Hence, the age old face to face chat is now considered almost obsolete and is used limitedly. To exemplify, now a trader in a country can buy products from a vendor in another continent through a simple email without ever seeing each other’s face which makes their business transactions quicker and boosts their trades. In conclusion, the use of modern technology has grown substantially leading to frequent use of video calls, emails, text messages and voice mails and minimised the time and effort required for in-person communication. This trend suggests that it will certainly replace face to face chat in near future.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, the rise in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
tools and text messages will result in the demise of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view. In my opinion, the latest forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
will eclipse traditional methods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Internet based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is becoming more and more popular
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is quick and reliable. Since internet networks are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
available in all parts of the world,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can communicate with their friends, family and clients scattered across the world at any hour of the day.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is possible in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways.
For example
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
an email or engage in a video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chat
.
In other words
, the latest system of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
has made life much easier with useful features like inexpensive video chatting with family and friends.
For example
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Skype every evening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chat
with my parents in India.

Another benefit is that the instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
tools
Possible typo: you repeated a word
of of
the modern era eliminate the need to travel long distances to have an interaction or deliver a message.
Thus
, it can
be considered
economic too and
highly
suitable for business and education needs. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
interactions may require travelling and meeting at a certain place, they are a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
process, which is unsuitable for the requirement of the modern life where one needs to do more in less time.
Hence
, the age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chat
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
considered almost obsolete and is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
Possible spelling mistake found.
limitedly
. To exemplify,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a trader in a country can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
products from a vendor in another continent through a simple email without ever seeing each other’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their business transactions quicker and boosts their trades.

In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of modern technology has grown
substantially
leading to frequent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of video calls, emails, text messages and voice mails and
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimised' is British English.
minimised
the time and effort required for in-person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
. This trend suggests that it will
certainly
replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chat
in near future.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay With an increasing percentage of the population communicating via the internet and text messaging, face to face communication will become a thing of the past. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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