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Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
We live in society highly technological where computers have become central in the daily routine of almost everybody. Although, some people think that computers have worsened our lifestyles, increasing the level of anxiety. In any case, I strongly believe that notebooks and laptops have made our lives simpler and overall more relaxed compared to the past. For some, computers are highly addictive and made us slaves of technology. People are not able to conduct anymore a happy life without the support of computers and they need to use them every single day, even for the most irrelevant actions, like shopping at supermarkets. In a certain way, we are not masters of our own lives anymore. It is indisputable that our society has become fully computerised. Nevertheless, the benefits that these devices have brought to our world are unquestionable i. e. medical support, faster lines, easier access to our money and so on. Computers are an indispensable part of the society of the second millennium. The world as we know it would collapse if a sudden crash would occur to computers. We have the possibility to be connected live 24/7 with anybody on earth. There are no limits on what computers can do and the majority of us do not know the potential these machines have. In addition, something that for us has become natural like buying flight tickets or booking hotels, before were actions much more difficult and complex. In conclusion, it maybe true that we have become dependent to computers and this may cause more tension, but it is also accurate to say that very often our lives would have been much more stressful without the support of these technological friends. I grow up surrounded by technology since my day zero and therefore, it would be really hard for me to imagine a society without the support of external devices.
We
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
highly
technological where computers have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
central in the daily routine of almost everybody. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that computers have worsened our lifestyles, increasing the level of anxiety. In any case, I
strongly
believe that notebooks and laptops have made our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
simpler and
overall
more relaxed compared to the past.

For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, computers are
highly
addictive and made us slaves of technology.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are not able to conduct anymore a happy life without the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
computers and
they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them every single day, even for the most irrelevant actions, like shopping at supermarkets. In a certain way, we are not masters of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
anymore. It is indisputable that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
fully
Possible spelling mistake. 'computerised' is British English.
computerised
.
Nevertheless
, the benefits that these devices have brought to our world are unquestionable
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
, faster lines, easier access to our money and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

Computers are an indispensable part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
of the second millennium. The world as we know it would collapse if a sudden crash would occur to computers. We have the possibility to
be connected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
24/7 with anybody on earth. There are no limits on what computers can do and the majority of us do not know the potential these machines have.
In addition
, something that for us has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
natural like buying flight tickets or booking hotels,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
were actions much more difficult and complex.

In conclusion
, it maybe true that we have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
dependent to computers and this may cause more tension,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
accurate to say that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
would have been much more stressful without the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
of these technological friends. I grow up surrounded by technology since my day zero and
therefore
, it would be
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for me to imagine a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
without the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
of external devices.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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