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Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? v.12

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. v. 12
There are huge preferences in the jobs where you are well-paid rather than the ones where you have a sense of fulfilment and contentment. Some people consider the workplaces in which you would obtain hefty pay scale, in contrast, others prefer delight from their work to high salary. Personally, I agree with the former statement and will discuss several compelling reasons in this essay. It is true that some people tend to opt for careers, which will be beneficial not only for them, but also for their family members in terms of wage. I genuinely subscribe the idea on grounds that if you earn enough money you will have spare time for yourself, your interests as well as for your family. You would afford to purchase lavish home, luxurious car and live exquisite lifestyle. Furthermore, if you had been given huge wage, you would do your best in order to deserve it truly. In other words, if employees gain dozens of money there would be growth and productivity in their workplaces since they are happy with their lives and make ends meet. Not only do they provide their future, but also they supply their children's. Overall, however satisfactory the job is, as long as you are less paid there would not be growth and motivation to persevere to work because of depression and stress came from shortage of money. I believe that some arbitrary decisions are made only to get bigger salary, which will ultimately bring us to the right place where we are meant to be
There are huge preferences in the jobs where you are well-paid
rather
than the ones where you have a sense of
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
and contentment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider the workplaces in which you would obtain hefty pay scale,
in contrast
, others prefer delight from their work to high salary.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former statement and will discuss several compelling reasons in this essay.

It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to opt for careers, which will be beneficial not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for their family members in terms of wage. I
genuinely
subscribe the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
on grounds that if you earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money you will have spare time for yourself, your interests
as well
as for your family. You would afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
lavish home, luxurious car and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
exquisite lifestyle.

Furthermore
, if you had been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
huge wage, you would do your best in order to deserve it
truly
.
In other words
, if employees gain dozens of money there would be growth and productivity in their workplaces since they are happy with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do they provide their future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they supply their children's.

Overall
,
however
satisfactory the job is, as long as you are less paid there would not be growth and motivation to persevere to work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of depression and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
came from shortage of money. I believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arbitrary decisions
are made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bigger salary, which will
ultimately
bring us to the right place where we
are meant
to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
be
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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