Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.10

In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. v. 10
Salary is the basic surviving tools in this age. Some people earn high, whereas some earn low. The belief by some that earning a high pay is also good for the country, while others believed that income should have some restrictions and the government must not allow above that. In my opinion, having a high salary helps to develop the country as people pay taxes and the people enjoy the standard lifestyle, while a restriction on salary level brings equality and a sense of belongingness in the people. Initially, a high payroll demands a high-level of workers. Paying a high earnings to the employee increases the tax amount that they pay which directly helps the economy of the country whereas at the same time their works help in the development where they work. Taxes are used in different development infrastructures like the construction of hospitals, buildings, roads and so on. At the same time, handsome remuneration increase the lifestyle of the people residing in the country. The more they earn, the more they spend on the things that they desire. Secondly, more money creates more biases in society, even though, they are from the same family. So, if the amount of salary is restricted to a certain level, then the society becomes more free and equal to everyone. People will stop criticizing others about their status and people develops a sense of belongingness and equality in the country. Finally, I believe that there is equal importance to both of them. A high income is required for the advancement of the country and the better lifestyle of the people. Meanwhile, it is also necessary for people to feel that there is a place where they belong where there is no partiality among peoples. In conclusion, a handsome remuneration is required for the country to develop, whereas there should not be any bias and rejection of people because of their earnings.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Salary
is the basic surviving tools in this age.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
earn low. The belief by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that earning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
pay is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, while others believed that income should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
restrictions and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
above that. In my opinion, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pay taxes and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy the standard lifestyle, while a restriction on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
level brings equality and a sense of
Possible spelling mistake found.
belongingness
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Initially
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
payroll demands a high-level of workers. Paying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "earning"?
earnings
to the employee increases the tax amount that they pay which
directly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
whereas at the same time their works
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the development where they work. Taxes are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
development infrastructures like the construction of hospitals, buildings, roads and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. At the same time, handsome remuneration increase the lifestyle of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
residing in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. The more they earn, the more they spend on the things that they desire.

Secondly
, more money creates more biases in society,
even though
, they are from the same family.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is restricted
to a certain level, then the society becomes more free and equal to everyone.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
criticizing others about their status and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
develops
a sense of
Possible spelling mistake found.
belongingness
and equality in the country.

Finally
, I believe that there is equal importance to both of them. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
income
is required
for the advancement of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and the better lifestyle of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Meanwhile, it is
also
necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to feel that there is a place where they belong where there is no partiality among peoples.

In conclusion
, a handsome remuneration
is required
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to develop, whereas there should not be any bias and rejection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their earnings.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. v. 10

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
319 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts