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While recruiting a new employee, the employer should pay more attention to their personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and include relevant examples. v.8

While recruiting a new employee, the employer should pay more attention to their personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. Give your opinion and include relevant examples. v. 8
These days, to get a good job is an ultimatum thing for graduates. However, the employers are expecting some personal qualities among the new employees rather than their academic background. I completely disagree that the personal things of the employees are insufficient to asses their capability to the job. Firstly, the employees’ qualification and work experiences show their personality vividly more than other things. It is usual that a person has good attitude always better in his educational sector and working environment. In addition, the more work experience in the same company circuitously says the employee has a sociable character with flexibility in the working place. For instance, I cannot withstand at my job if I hesitate to get-in close with my peers and having lack of knowledge about my work. Secondly, the personal qualities of a new comer may irrelevant to the job. Some people may have endurance to play some sports or other activities such as painting or crafting and so on, but those are not required to get a job rather than having the specific knowledge about the job. For example, If I am a good cricket or a football player but I have the lack of skills in software, it is really hard for me to sustain at the job for a long term. As a consequence of this, the suitable qualification and experience are expected from the employees while getting any jobs. In conclusion, even though, the personal things of the employees are important to motivate them to indulge in extra-curricular activities, the qualification and relevant work experience are inevitable while perceiving any jobs. From my point of view, I strongly agree that the employers should not recruit the employees only based on their personal things. They also should give more priority to their academic background and working repertoires.
These days, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is an ultimatum thing for graduates.
However
, the employers are expecting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
qualities among the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
rather
than their academic background. I completely disagree that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
things of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are insufficient to asses their capability to the job.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees’
qualification and work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their personality
vividly
more than other things. It is usual that a person has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
attitude always better in his educational sector and working environment.
In addition
, the more work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
circuitously
says the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
has a sociable character with flexibility in the working place.
For instance
, I cannot withstand at my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
if I hesitate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
-in close with my peers and having lack of knowledge about my work.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
qualities of a
Did you mean "newcomer"?
new comer
may irrelevant to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may have endurance to play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sports or other activities such as painting or crafting and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
those are not required to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
rather
than having the specific knowledge about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
For example
, If I am a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
cricket or a football player
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I have the lack of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in software, it is
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for me to sustain at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for a long term. As a consequence of this, the suitable qualification and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
while getting any jobs.

In conclusion
,
even though
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
things of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to motivate them to indulge in extra-curricular activities, the qualification and relevant work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
are inevitable while perceiving any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. From my point of view, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the employers should not recruit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
based on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
things. They
also
should give more priority to their academic background and working repertoires.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay While recruiting a new employee, the employer should pay more attention to their personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. Give your opinion and include relevant examples. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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