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Some believe that student's success is mainly based on the quality of their teaching while others think it has more to do with the student's attitude. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some believe that student's success is mainly based on the quality of their teaching while others think it has more to do with the student's attitude. v. 1
There are various factors which contribute to a student’s success. Some think it is based on good teaching staff while others believe it is more about the student’s initiatives. From my point of view, I personally think both teachers and student’s attitude are paramount important to the learners’ achievements. In teaching perspective, it is apparent that teachers are extremely crucial. That might be the reason why in Vietnam, we have a teacher's day every year when we celebrate and show gratitude to our dear teachers. And we also have a well-known probe: ” Without teachers, you can do nothing”. It is undeniable that talents wouldn’t not be able to be figured out, developed and nourished to succeed if they are not lucky enough to have their compatible mentors behind. Those outstanding teaching staff are not only more knowledgeable, but also tend to delicate to follow-up and nurture their seeds until they blossom. From the learning aspects, learners can not get good performance if they don’t themselves pay attention to lecturers in classrooms and do assignments at home, no matter how good the quality of their teachers is. In fact, they are the core factor that lead themselves to success, considering there are many icons in the world had quitted college and failed having good academic profiles such as Jack Ma or McDonald, however they are great self- learners and have been building amazingly global companies. They show us that, good teachers are just a triggering element for their student’s success. In conclusion, from the above mentioned rationales, I think student’s success is stemmed from both the quality of their teachers and themselves proactively.
There are various factors which contribute to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
success.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it
is based
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
teaching staff while others believe it is more about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
initiatives. From my point of view, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
attitude are paramount
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to the learners’ achievements.

In teaching perspective, it is apparent that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are
extremely
crucial. That might be the reason why in Vietnam, we have a teacher's day every year when we celebrate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
gratitude to our dear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. And we
also
have a well-known probe:
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
”
Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, you can do nothing”. It is undeniable that talents
You used a negation after a negated contracted verb. Did you mean simply "wouldn’t"?
wouldn’t not
be able to
be figured
out, developed and nourished to succeed if they are not lucky
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to have their compatible mentors behind. Those outstanding teaching staff are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
more knowledgeable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
tend to delicate to follow-up and nurture their seeds until they blossom.

From the learning aspects, learners can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
performance if they don’t themselves pay attention to lecturers in classrooms and do assignments at home, no matter how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
the quality of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
is. In fact, they are the core factor that lead themselves to success, considering there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
icons in the world had
Possible spelling mistake found.
quitted
college and failed having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
academic profiles such as Jack Ma or McDonald,
however
they are great self- learners and have been building
amazingly
global
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
us that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a triggering element for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
success.

In conclusion
, from the above mentioned rationales, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
success
is stemmed
from both the quality of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and themselves
proactively
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some believe that student's success is mainly based on the quality of their teaching while others think it has more to do with the student's attitude. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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