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Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree? v.9

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 9
We now live in a digital era where the conventional ways of communications have been completely replaced by social media sites. Social media platforms, such as Facebook and Instagram, have gained considerable popularity among people in the last decade. Some people are now arguing that the social sites invasion has a drastically negative effect on both the individuals and the society. Although there are many drawbacks that came with the introduction of social media, I strongly agree that the benefits are to surplus the disadvantages. Social media networks can be so beneficial if used properly by individuals. While physical meetings are sometimes not possible, social sites can be used to virtually connect people with their loved ones. Moreover, they can keep individuals alerted of what is occurring around them. For example, I just moved to a new city and I am fully aware of the events that are taking place around me, thanks to Facebook. In addition to the social side of these benefits, Social websites can help individuals grow professionally as well. This is made possible because of all the career events and job postings that are advertised periodically. Not only that social media sites can have some remarkable benefits on individuals, but they can also have more value to the society. Sharing public opinion about current issues, reporting incidents and spreading awareness through digital campaigns are just few examples of how social media can be enormously beneficial to the society. For example, Egypt has successfully planned a revolution solely through using Facebook. If it was not for Facebook, the country could have been still suffering of dictatorship till this day. In conclusion, social media networks can be viewed as a double-edged weapon. Despite having obvious negative impacts, their gain still dominates. In my opinion, I strongly disagree that social media networks are of bad impact to the individuals and the society.
We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a digital era where the conventional ways of communications have been completely replaced by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
platforms, such as Facebook and Instagram, have gained considerable popularity among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the last decade.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
arguing that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "sites'" or "site's"?
sites
invasion has a
drastically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks that came with the introduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the benefits are to surplus the disadvantages.

Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
networks can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
beneficial if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
properly
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
. While physical meetings are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
not possible,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
virtually
connect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.
Moreover
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
alerted of what is occurring around them.
For example
, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to a new
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
city and
I am
fully
aware of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
that are taking place around me, thanks to Facebook.
In addition
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
side of these benefits,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
websites can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
grow
professionally
as well
. This
is made
possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of all the career
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and job postings that
are advertised
periodically
.

Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
remarkable benefits on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they can
also
have more value to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Sharing public opinion about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
issues, reporting incidents and spreading awareness through digital campaigns are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
few examples of how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can be
enormously
beneficial to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
For example
, Egypt has
successfully
planned a revolution
solely
through using Facebook. If it was not for Facebook, the country could have been
still
The usual preposition for this expression is "from" or "with." Did you mean "suffering from" or "suffering with"?
suffering of
dictatorship till this day.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
networks can
be viewed
as a double-edged weapon. Despite having obvious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts, their gain
still
dominates. In my opinion, I
strongly
disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
networks are of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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