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People living in small towns or villages are more satisfied with their lives than those living in big cities. v.2

People living in small towns or villages are more satisfied with their lives than those living in big cities. v. 2
As a matter of fact people have different ideas about a place which they want to live in. Some of them prefer to be in a small town and some of them think otherwise. There are some advantages and disadvantages about both life styles, but in my view, I strongly believe that people in the small cities are happier in their life. There are many positive points about villages such as paying less money and saving time. First and foremost, residence of small towns can save money. Most expenses are cheaper in small population cities. For instance, I used to live in California for one year. I rent a one bedroom apartment in a mediocre area in the vicinity of San Diego. I was paying 2000 dollars pay month for that condo. My salary was 3000 and I had some other expenses such as oil or grocery stuff. After a while I decided to move to North West Arkansas. I think I did a smart move, because I can save 2000 dollars per month now. Second, small towns are peaceful. A person who likes to be in a calm atmosphere would be satisfied in small towns, because in these kinds of small cities, there are no traffic jam. Additionally, there is smaller population. Consequently, fewer number of people, will make lower noises. Furthermore some people oppose this point by telling that these kinds of towns has no facilities, so they prefer to have some trouble instead of being in a rural part. Everybody should be aware of some new changes in last decades. Obviously, in most of small town, people have high speed internet and chain stores, so nowadays there is not a big differences between a big city and a small town. Last but not least, people can save time in villages. People in big cities such as Irvine should wake up earlier and leave their home sooner to avoid of traffic in rush hours in the morning. On the other hand, people in rural area do not need to be accurate about the time. As everybody knows, in most roads in small towns people drive fast and they do not need to stop hours in highways. For example, people in Los Angeles have to leave their home as fast as they can in the morning, because they do not want to be in the middle of crazy traffic. To sum up, living in a small town is not only useful for family' s budget, but also is necessary for feeling peace.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a matter of fact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
about a place which they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them prefer to be in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
otherwise
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages and disadvantages about both life styles,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my view, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are happier in their life. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
points about villages such as paying less money and saving time.

First
and foremost, residence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
can save money. Most expenses are cheaper in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
For instance
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in California for one year. I rent a
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
one bedroom
apartment in a mediocre area in the vicinity of San Diego. I was paying 2000 dollars pay month for that condo. My salary was 3000 and I had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other expenses such as oil or grocery stuff.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
a while I decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to North West Arkansas. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
I did a smart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I can save 2000 dollars per month
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
are peaceful. A person who likes to be in a calm atmosphere would
be satisfied
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, there are no traffic jam.
Additionally
, there is smaller population.
Consequently
, fewer number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
lower noises.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
oppose this point by telling that these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
has no facilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they prefer to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
trouble
instead
of being in a rural part. Everybody should be aware of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in last decades.
Obviously
, in most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have high speed internet and chain stores,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
nowadays there is not a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
differences between a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
town.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can save time in villages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
such as Irvine should wake up earlier and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their home sooner to avoid of traffic in rush hours in the morning.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in rural area do not need to be accurate about the time. As everybody knows, in most roads in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
drive
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
fast and
they do not need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
hours in highways.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Los Angeles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their home as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
as they can in the morning,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not want to be in the middle of crazy traffic.

To sum up, living in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
useful for
Possible spelling mistake found.
family&
#039; s budget,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
is necessary for feeling peace.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay People living in small towns or villages are more satisfied with their lives than those living in big cities. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
423 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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