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which one is better for one student: a major which finishes in short timea major with long period of time v.2

which one is better for one student: a major which finishes in short timea major with long period of time v. 2
The question is whether a student should choose a major which allows him to graduate sooner and enter to marketing job or a major which can take much time to be finished and finally the student will be able to have more chances for finding better jobs. Everyone in consideration to his private perspective can maintain a specific direction toward this statement. Some believe that graduating quickly from university will cause students to become independent as soon as possible while others have a conviction that a specific major can guarantee the young' s future even though it may last for many years. I am unanimous with the first group, so the next paragraphs will vastly elucidate my point of view through three salient reasons: To begin with, nobody could deny the vital role of experience in achieving prosperity. When a student selects a major with a short-time, he has an opportunity to experience variety types of careers. One should not forget that nowadays, the universities tender scientific matters in abstract version and unfortunately, they do not spend time or money on practical practices; hence, the overwhelming majority of youths do not obtain useful information. Having acceptable knowledge about a field is appreciable; however, it can be said that today' s, thing which is crucial for hiring process is a practical resume. It goes without saying that finishing university will cause you to start a new job even though with a low quality. After a few years and doing different jobs, the constructive consequences of this way will be clear. In addition, financial independence can be another merit of a short major. The world is struggling with economic crises and people have problems in paying their rents, bills and schools or universities' tuition and list goes on. In such frustrating circumstance, children should help their parents to solve the mentioned troubles. When a student finds a job, not only can manage his life, but also he can support his family in the bad financial condition. Spontaneously, all of these cases will lead him to boost his confidence. Even better, with managing his money, later this person can pursue his study in high degrees. Moreover, when youths work in diverse careers, they have a chance to meet people with different backgrounds; therefor, interpersonal skills will start burgeoning and new friendships will be formed. More friends will assist the young to acquire diverse jobs and through this approach, the youths can maintain their spirit in high level. Yet, spending much time in university for one major may create lethargy or numb feeling and even worse negative thoughts toward future among students. To sum up, this conclusion could be drawn that a major which can be finished in a short period of time provides some advantages for students such as gaining more crafts, boosting self-confidence and having financial independence.
The question is whether a
student
should choose a
major
which
allows
him to graduate sooner and enter to marketing
job
or a
major
which can take much
time
to
be finished
and
finally
the
student
will be able to have more chances for finding better
jobs
. Everyone in consideration to his private perspective can maintain a specific direction toward this statement.
Some
believe that graduating
quickly
from
university
will cause
students
to become independent as
soon
as possible while others have a conviction that a specific
major
can guarantee the
young&
#039; s future
even though
it may last for
many
years. I am unanimous with the
first
group,
so
the
next
paragraphs will
vastly
elucidate my point of view through three salient reasons:

To
begin
with, nobody could deny the vital role of experience in achieving prosperity. When a
student
selects a
major
with a short-time, he has an opportunity to experience variety types of careers. One should not forget that nowadays, the
universities
tender scientific matters in abstract version and unfortunately, they do not spend
time
or money on practical practices;
hence
, the overwhelming majority of youths do not obtain useful information. Having acceptable knowledge about a field is appreciable;
however
, it can
be said
that
today&
#039; s, thing which is crucial for hiring process is a practical resume. It goes without saying that finishing
university
will cause you to
start
a new
job
even though
with a low quality. After a few years and doing
different
jobs
, the constructive consequences of this way will be
clear
.

In addition
, financial independence can be another merit of a short
major
. The world is struggling with economic crises and
people
have problems in paying their rents, bills and schools or
universities&
#039; tuition and list goes on. In such frustrating circumstance, children should
help
their parents to solve the mentioned troubles. When a
student
finds a
job
, not
only
can manage his life,
but
also
he can support his family in the
bad
financial condition.
Spontaneously
, all of these cases will lead him to boost his confidence. Even better, with managing his money, later this person can pursue his study in high degrees.

Moreover
, when youths work in diverse careers, they have a chance to
meet
people
with
different
backgrounds; therefor, interpersonal
skills
will
start
burgeoning and new friendships will
be formed
. More friends will assist the young to acquire diverse
jobs
and through this approach, the youths can maintain their spirit in high level.
Yet
, spending much
time
in
university
for one
major
may create lethargy or numb feeling and even worse
negative
thoughts toward future among students.

To sum up, this conclusion could
be drawn
that a
major
which can
be finished
in a short period of
time
provides
some
advantages for
students
such as gaining more crafts, boosting self-confidence and having financial independence.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay which one is better for one student: a major which finishes in short timea major with long period of time v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
475 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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