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do you agree or disagree? the environment issues are too complex to be handled by individuals. v.126

the environment issues are too complex to be handled by individuals. v. 126
The question is whether environmental issue can be managed by individual or not. Everyone with regard to his perspective may maintain a specific direction toward this statement. Some believe that environmental matters are too complex to be solved by individuals and the government should assist people in this way while others have a conviction that ordinary people are the best choice to support environmental issues. I am unanimous with the first group, so the next paragraphs will vastly elucidate my vantage point through three salient reasons: To begin with, one should not forget that money plays a crucial role in improving environment. There are plentiful of tasks which must be done in related to natural ambient such as one program associated with cleaning river or ocean waters, rescuing threatened animals and reducing deforestation and list goes on; hence, removing all of these troubles requires the huge investment. The governments have to invite some famous companies, well-known organization and prominent institutions and so on, to invest their budget in this route. As a result, instead of the private schedules and long-term, the state can achieve the mentioned goal quickly and with a logical cost with the aforementioned approach. The second reason for my argument lies the fact that ordinary people have not been trained to how to behave in front of environment' s problems; hence, they may create more damages. For instance, take an example the assistance migration project which is a useful plan for transferring threatened animal species to the safe areas. Since some species are related to each other in one place and they cannot survive without the help of each other; therefore, people must know such the species which are in a network and then whole of network have to be transferred. Yet, recognizing such the complex networks require the collaboration among expert people like zoologists, anthropologists and environment engineers and etc. Moreover, the existence of several special organizations is indispensable for advertising and notifying to ordinary people to protect the environment. The main task of these types of organizations is that they have to produce some brochures or provide some worthwhile advertising for giving needed information to individuals. As a matter a fact, as the old saying goes" a hand is not enough for breaking a hard wood" , so these institutions can call people to participate in environment rescue movements and teach some conservation methods to them. To sum up, this conclusion could be drawn that environment issues require elaborate programs and it can be said that such the detailed schedules can be gained through enormous investments, cooperating expert scientists and some special organizations which motivate people for collective movements.
The question is whether environmental issue can
be managed
by individual or not. Everyone with regard to his perspective may maintain a specific direction toward this statement.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that environmental matters are too complex to
be solved
by individuals and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in this way while others have a conviction that ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are the best choice to support environmental issues. I am unanimous with the
first
group,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
next
paragraphs will
vastly
elucidate my vantage point through three salient reasons:

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one should not forget that money plays a crucial role in improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. There are plentiful of tasks which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be done
in related to natural ambient such as one program associated with cleaning river or ocean waters, rescuing threatened animals and reducing deforestation and list goes on;
hence
, removing all of these troubles requires the huge investment. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
invite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
and prominent institutions and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, to invest their budget in this route.
As a result
,
instead
of the private schedules and long-term, the state can achieve the mentioned goal
quickly
and with a logical cost with the aforementioned approach.

The second reason for my argument lies the fact that ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have not
been trained
to how to behave in front of
Possible spelling mistake found.
environment&
#039; s problems;
hence
, they may create more damages.
For instance
, take an example the assistance migration project which is a useful plan for transferring threatened animal species to the safe areas. Since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
species
are related
to each other in one
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
place and
they cannot survive without the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of each other;
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
know such the species which are in a network and then whole of network
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be transferred
.
Yet
, recognizing such the complex networks require the collaboration among expert
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like zoologists, anthropologists and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
engineers
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
.

Moreover
, the existence of several special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
is indispensable for advertising and notifying to ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. The main task of these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
is that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
produce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
brochures or provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
worthwhile advertising for giving needed information to individuals. As a matter a fact, as the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
saying
Possible spelling mistake found.
goes&quot
; a hand is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for breaking a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
Possible spelling mistake found.
wood&quot
;
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
these institutions can call
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
rescue movements and teach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conservation methods to them.

To sum up, this conclusion could
be drawn
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
issues require elaborate programs and it can
be said
that such the detailed schedules can
be gained
through enormous investments, cooperating expert scientists and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
which motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for collective movements.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay the environment issues are too complex to be handled by individuals. v. 126

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
444 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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