Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Which one do you prefer? Why? A company offering you a job with challenging and interesting projects but less vacation days or another company offering you a job that is not so challenging and interesting but has more vacation days. v.8

Which one do you prefer? Why? A company offering you a job with challenging and interesting projects but less vacation days or another company offering you a job that is not so challenging and interesting but has more vacation days. v. 8
Nowadays, human being’s jobs are very crucial. Genuinely, they determine that how much our nation is successful. Although a plethora of people believe that it is more profitable for a person to have a challenging job with a few vacation days, others disagree with this point of view and hold the opinion that a perfect career should have more vacation and less challenges. I, to a considerable extent, hold the latter viewpoint. Among countless reasons, which can vindicate my point of view, I will mention the two most conspicuous ones through the following paragraphs. The first reason that juts out of my mind easily at the first moment of thinking about this issue is the fact that sundry interesting projects have some benefits for employees who work on them. These people have a lot of impetus to implement their duties with the best quality. Furthermore, in order to accomplish this kind of projects, people have to learn a great deal of information in different fields of science. This means that they would become more knowledgeable than someone who do an unchallenging job, which means that they are more prosperous in their tasks. To shed more light on this matter, the noteworthy statistics revealed by a recently conducted research shown that human beings who encounter with challenges at their work, have powerful brains, and are able to cope with different problems easier. As it is clear, the more challenging career someone has, the more benefits he would gain. The second and equally exquisite proof for this assertion is about this importance that having an exciting job is a kind of entertainment. As a matter of fact, individuals spent most of their time at work; therefore, if they enjoy their jobs, they would not need a great hosts of vacation days. In such cases, their jobs are their amusement, and thanks to their interests in their duties they have better performances. To give a tangible example, consider a man who does not like his career; hence it is very tedious for him to continue his job for a long time with no or a few vacation days. In other words, after a few weeks he would feel that he is bored and his tasks are very repetitive. Consequently, in order to reinforce his spirit and become eager to accomplish his tasks again, he should go to vacation. Therefore, people with interesting tasks are more energetic. To make a long story short, based on the aforementioned arguments, we may draw the conclusion that it can be more advantageous for human beings if they chose exciting jobs with a few vacation days. This contention id due to the fact that not only are these careers more beneficial but also they are more enjoyable. Consequently, it is highly recommended that people accomplish such work.
Nowadays, human being’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial.
Genuinely
, they determine that how much our nation is successful. Although a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is more profitable for a person to have a challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
days, others disagree with this point of view and hold the opinion that a perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
should have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
and
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun challenges is countable.
less
challenges. I, to a considerable extent, hold the latter viewpoint. Among countless reasons, which can vindicate my point of view, I will mention the two most conspicuous ones through the following paragraphs.

The
first
reason that juts out of my mind
easily
at the
first
moment of thinking about this issue is the fact that sundry interesting projects have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits for employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on them. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
Possible agreement error. The noun impetus seems to be countable; consider using: "a lot of impetuses".
a lot of impetus
to implement their duties with the best quality.
Furthermore
, in order to accomplish this kind of projects,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn a great deal of information in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields of science. This means that they would become more knowledgeable than someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do an
Possible spelling mistake found.
unchallenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, which means that they are more prosperous in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
. To shed more light on this matter, the noteworthy statistics revealed by a recently conducted research shown that human beings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
encounter with challenges at their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, have powerful brains, and are able to cope with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
problems easier. As it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, the more challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
someone has, the more benefits he would gain.

The second and
equally
exquisite proof for this assertion is about this importance that having an exciting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is a kind of entertainment. As a matter of fact, individuals spent most of their time at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
;
therefore
, if they enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, they would not need a great hosts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
days. In such cases, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are their amusement, and thanks to their interests in their duties they have better performances. To give a tangible example, consider a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
does not like his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
;
hence
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
tedious for him to continue his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for a long time with
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
or a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
days.
In other words
, after a few weeks he would feel that he
is bored
and his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
repetitive.
Consequently
, in order to reinforce his spirit and become eager to accomplish his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
again, he should go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
are more energetic.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a long story short, based on the aforementioned arguments, we may draw the conclusion that it can be more advantageous for human beings if they chose exciting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
with a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
days. This contention id due to the fact that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
more beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they are more enjoyable.
Consequently
, it is
highly
recommended that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
accomplish such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Which one do you prefer? Why? A company offering you a job with challenging and interesting projects but less vacation days or another company offering you a job that is not so challenging and interesting but has more vacation days. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
469 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts